America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 2)

Episode 1: Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

"Dude! I think the World Conference can convene! Solving all of today's problems by talking excessively!" America starts this meeting off with a loud obnoxious boom. "For today's problem, we'll be talking about this shit called climate change! If we don't do something about it, the Earth is going to, like, blow up or something like that! We need to act before it's too late!"

"Oui, oui (Yes, yes)! Says the country that pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement!" France brings up a moot point.

Many countries sneer at the American.

He groans, "Come on, dude! That was two years ago! It wasn't my idea!"

Germany scowls. "Despite setting a plan years ago, it seems we need to go over this issue again."

"Suck ball!" China protests. "We already talked about this! Instead, how about we talk about this trade war the American pig started?"

"Stop blaming me! I know for a fact you're screwing me and not in a sexy way!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a screwdriver."

"You're cheating me of millions! Don't get me started on the cyber-attacks!"

England sighs, "Can you two settle on something before dragging everyone else into your little war? You're going to ruin Europe's economy if you two don't compromise."

"What a surprise. I thought you didn't consider yourself a part of Europe." Russia smiles creepily.

"Speak for yourself," he huffs. "I swear you're plotting to assassinate me."

"Assassinate you? Why me?" He points to himself in a clueless manner.

"Yes, you! Who else has a murderous aura?!"

"U-Uh... Please calm down, everyone..." Japan mumbles nervously.

Italy stands up with a smile on his face. "Come on, everyone! Make pasta, not war! Don't be upsetti, have some spaghetti!"

"Italy!"

"Eeek!"

"How did you sneak spaghetti into this meeting? You shouldn't be eating during a time like this!"

"Waaaaah! Germany!"

Standing at the back of the room, New York stares at the chaos like it's the end of the world. 'How does Mr. United Nations deal with this every year...?' He watches England and France go after each other's throats. "I can't imagine this getting any worse," he grumbles.

Knock! Knock!

A voice chirps behind the door. "New Yooork! Be a darling, and let me in!"

New York does the opposite, blocking the doorway. "No way, Cali. This is an important meeting among countries. You're not allowed here," he hisses.

"But this is, like, super important! I have a super important announcement to make!"

"No."

"I demand to be let into this room!"

"You can come back once they have their break."

"I don't have time to wait around until lunch!"

"Then, do some shopping. Go get your nails done. I don't care. Just stop annoying me."

"Hell no! I'm coming into that room now, and you can't stop me!"

"I'm warning you."

"California..."

"Don't-"

"SMAAAAAAASH!" She knocks down the doors, sending New York flying across the room.

Everyone turns their attention to the Californian blonde strutting into the spotlight, flashing a dazzling, white smile. "We're back, bitches!" she laughs.