✅1️⃣ | Hypnosis Doesn't Work Like That!

193: At Last I Can Choose to Act My Age

"What's up, Mom?" Adi bounced down the last few steps with a smile, and pulled a plate towards her before she waited for an answer. She had a mug of coffee too, rich and piping hot. Whatever was waiting to surprise her today, she was sure it would be better with a mug of Mom's coffee inside her.

"Not much. Late night and an early morning, but I'm not past it yet. How about you?"

"Always better when you're making breakfast. Thanks, Mom."

"Morning!" Garfield swept through the door, feet skittering a little on the tiled floor as he ran just a little faster than could be healthy. "I –"

"You going to behave today?" Mom interrupted sharply. "Don't say what I think you were going to say."

"Relax," he grunted back, already swinging his school bag oiver his shoulder. "I'm meeting John, I'm already late." And before there was time for any more questions, he'd already grabbed his shoes and bustled out of the door.

"Guess it's just the two of us today," Mom said cryptically. "This morning, anyway. Your girlfriend's going to be busy, and I'm not in work today, after yesterday's double shift."

"You didn't call me Adelaide this morning," Adi got straight to the point, after turning a few other possible questions in her head.

"I know, dear. I'm sorry. But I wanted to be sure that I could get a straight answer out of you. I know that you might have an urge to put yourself in babyish situations right after you hear your name, and I don't know how long that lasts. Don't worry, I can say it again as soon as you've had breakfast. But before I do, I want to be sure that this fantasy is everything you hoped it would be. Is this helping you to relax? The baby behaviour, I mean. And do you really want us to keep on pushing you?"

"I guess..." Adi found that her voice deserted her soon enough. She was going to say that she'd never wanted it, and that the hypnosis file was the cause of all the stress in her life. But it really wasn't, because she'd only recently admitted to herself that there really was a feeling of relaxation that came with it. She didn't want to say she didn't like it, because then she knew she might so easily slip into the trap of never having the courage to ask again.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I tried to stop it, so I could be a big girl again. But it does feel nice, and maybe it's good that I couldn't escape so easily. Now... I don't know where I want to go from here. I'm not sure what I want."

"Don't worry about that. I think most girls your age are having those kind of feelings, even if most of them are about something more conventional. If you want to take a break you can. Or if you don't want to worry about the big picture, you can just take it one day at a time. Does that sound good?" She waited a second for Adi to give a half nod before she carried on: "Well then, what would you like to do today? Would you like to play at being a baby and I'll see if I can remember how to be a Mom? Or would you rather spend the day studying?"

Adi paused, but she had the right answer in her head. She knew that she needed to go over her notes before the coming exams if she wanted to stand any chance of getting into Moistville. Being a little kid was nice as a break, but it wasn't a break unless it came in between work. She'd almost opened her mouth to answer when Mom added "Or if you'd rather study as a baby, I think Dean said he might have some ideas in that direction. He's in town visiting family, so he could probably come round if you want."

"I... uhh..." Adi stammered, and the easy choice wasn't so easy anymore. She knew that Dean was a really smart guy, and studying with someone else who understood the subject would probably make it asier. But Mom wasn't going to ask him to come round just to study; she was paying him as a babysitter. Did that mean Adi would have to be a baby to see him again? She suddenly couldn't decide what was more important to her.

"Did you like that young man, by the way?" Mom asked, leaving Adi no clues to suggest whether she was insinuating something or not. "I thought you might get on well, and he was the only babysitter I could find who seemed likely to keep your secret. I was a little nervous introducing you to him while you were already in that headspace, but I didn't have much choice. You seemed happy enough, I think."

"I don't know what happened," Adi answered, gently shaking her head. "I mean, I've spent days trying to grow up, and then you gave me a choice and all I could think about was dolls. It was so much fun, but I had no self control."

"I think I could explain that, but you don't need to worry. That won't happen again."

"Did you make me... make me want to? That's kind of terrifying. If you force me to be a baby, I can try to fight it. Even if I've not been doing too well at that. But if you make me want it, and I don't even know it's not my own choice..."

"You're fighting the baby behaviours, are you? Is that because you enjoy the challenge, or did the experience not live up to your fantasies? Did we do something wrong?"

"It's not..." Adi started, but she knew she didn't have an answer. She couldn't tell Mom now, after she'd put in so much effort, that she'd never wanted this at all. "I just... I put on that shirt in a rush, I didn't notice until Toni pointed it out. I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't ready, and then I never planned for it to go on so long."

"I see. I thought Toni was very rigorous in making sure everything was what you wanted. But I think we missed the possibility that you might do something like that without noticing. I'm sorry, dear. But didn't she give you a way to let her know that you've had enough?"

"A safe word. Yes. Dio... de-on-de... Ugh. Somebody told me I can't remember big words, and that one kind of stuck."

Mom just nodded, staring into her own coffee mug as if the spiral of cream on the surface could provide an answer to all the questions of the universe. Adi let herself take deep breaths. She didn't know how Toni would react, and she didn't want any kind of guilt or regret to come between them. But she'd said it now, and she couldn't take back her words. It was a huge weight off her shouldres, now that all she could do was wait and see what happened.

"I'll make sure to tell Toni about that," Mom said in the end. "You should probably bring it up, but I can understand you'd be embarrassed by a problem like that. So I'll tell her, and she can help you to pick a new word, maybe. If you still want to do this."

Adi nodded. She was still worried that she might have offended Mom, or worse that she might offend Toni, by not properly enjoying all the hard work they'd put in. But when she thought back, Adi realised that she had enjoyed it. And if she'd known she could stop whenever she wanted, she would probably have kept putting it off for another few minutes. Once she'd become a baby, she might have been able to enjoy it properly if she'd been able to believe there was an escape waiting for her whenever she wanted it.

"So, for today..." Mom asked again. Adi thought about the possibilities. A day sitting at her desk, poring over notes on history, literature, and mathematics, and worrying about what Toni might think when she got the message. Or she could ask Dean to help, and maybe he'd treat her like a little kid who wanted to help with his homework or something. She was curious what his ideas might have been, and even more eager to see him again. It wasn't just about studying, but she wanted to talk to someone who was smart enough to really understand her. But she couldn't say that to Mom; she was sure to get the wrong idea.

"I don't want to spend all day worrying about what Toni's going to say if she comes home and finds me all grown up. I know she'd be happy to see me anyway, but I can't stop..."

"We're our own worst critics, dear. So, your decision? If you'd like to be a baby again, then you need to say it. So there's no misunderstanding."

"Yes, Mom," Adi smiled, still not quite believing what she was about to say. But she needed someone to speak to; someone her own age, with all the same hopes and fears about going to college. And she couldn't just say she needed to talk to Dean, so that only left one option:

"Can I have a babysitter again? Just... so I can study without worrying. We can sort this out properly when Toni's here."

"Of course, Adelaide. Just relax, and let your Mom take care of everything for you.