✅1️⃣ | Hypnosis Doesn't Work Like That!

3: This Stuff's Just for Gullible Idiots

"Okay, time to test this," Adi said, laughing under her breath. If she was going to do it properly, she'd need diapers. She didn't want anybody saying that it might have worked, or that her fear of the consequences was obstructing the trigger. But she'd tested a couple of these baby files before, they seemed to be one of the more common types posted on the hypnosis sites. She'd tried one six months ago that was supposed to make you feel like a baby any time you wear diapers, and that one clearly hadn't worked either. She'd found that some larger sizes of diapers, the pull-up ones meant for bedwetters, came in sizes that were pretty comfortable on her slim waist. The butterfly print was cutesy and childish, but she didn't mind owning a pack just so she could test how hopeless some of these so-called hypnotists and their dreams were.

She got the pack out from the back of her closet, pulled one on, and put her jeans back over it. She didn't have baby powder or anything like that, but then she didn't really think she'd need it. This was only for the sake of giving the file a fair chance when she came to prove it was nonsense. Nobody could say she didn't give them the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay," she spoke to herself aloud, feeling just a little embarrassed. "If I was a baby, I'd wet myself. Addykins." She waited, but nothing happened. Of course it didn't. But she wouldn't let it be said that she didn't give these fantasies a fair chance. She repeated the name three times, and then smirked by how much it sounded like something out of a cheesy horror movie. Say the name three times to summon a demon; or in this case, to summon a baby version of herself.

Next she picked up her phone and called Britney. The girl was tall, bubbly, and so cheerful that she didn't suit the goth-style black and white makeup at all. She was something of an outsider, and one of the few people Adi wanted to call a friend even if Britney was nowhere near her intellectual equal.

"Hey, Adi!" the voice that came over the phone was filled with sunshine and rainbows, as usual. She had to sound so joyous, it made Adi want to strangle her at times.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Think Mom's putting dinner out. She's made a pot pie so I can't stay long."

"Cool," Adi's stomach grumbled as she answered, and she found herself wondering just how long it would be before either of her parents cared to order food. She decided to get the experiment over with as soon as possible. "Help me with an experiment before you eat?"

"Sure. The hypno files again?"

"Yeah. Got a new one. The trigger's supposed to be–" she hesitated. She'd picked 'Addykins' because nobody was likely to say it by accident, but she was just a little embarrassed about saying it to her friend. Could she change it after she'd already decided? She weighed up the possibilities for a moment, and couldn't see any reason why not. "It's supposed to be when somebody calls me a 'baby name', a pet name like you'd call a little kid. I wasn't sure what to use."

"How about just Baby Adi?"

Adi thought it over for a moment, and then answered: "Yeah, that's probably good. My baby name is Baby Adi now. Want to give it a test?"

"Okay. I guess this turns you into a baby or something? Come on out, Baby Adi!"

There was so much optimism in her voice that it almost hurt to let her down.

"Nothing," she said dismissively. "More nonsense for gullible fools."

But she didn't hang up. She didn't know if she really could change the name. If this was supposed to work, if she wanted to give it a proper test, then she couldn't leave any untested possibilities for her silent critics to pounce on.

"Adi?" Britney sounded just a little nervous now. "Did something happen? Did it work?"

"You could sound less excited, you know. And no, nothing happened. I was just thinking maybe I should use the first name I thought of. One my grandma used to call me when I was a baby. It's a bit embarrassing, but they could say these things only work if you don't try to change your mind. So, try it with..."

"You don't need to be embarrassed, you know? My dad used to call me Bimpney, because that was my first attempt at pronouncing my name. Childish nicknames are supposed to be cringeworthy."

"I guess. And thanks, Brit. It's 'Addykins' if you want to give it a try."

"Okay, Addykins! How does that feel?"

The line was silent for a long couple of minutes.

"No, sorry. I don't feel anything. Guess this chick's a fraud like all the rest. Thanks."

"No worries. Show me your review tomorrow? They're hysterical."

Adi heard Britney's mother calling for her in the background, and then she disconnected the call. Britney was probably her biggest fan, though she must have explained a hundred times that her reviews were written with scathing satire, and you weren't actually supposed to laugh out loud at them. She knew her friend would be excited to read the review, maybe finding that even more enjoyable than the remote possibility that one of these stupid tricks might have some results.