161: Smart Enough to Do What Mommy Says

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The kitchen was filled with the smell of bacon and coffee when Adi staggered down to the bottom of the stairs. Mommy had told her some things while she helped her into a princess-print romper, but Adi couldn't remember what the words were now. She just knew that her legs were all wobbly and didn't move like she wanted, so Mommy had to hold her from behind to make sure she didn't fall on the stairs. Everything was a bit blurred around her too, and she couldn't read the title of the book that Garfield had his nose buried in. But the smell of Mom's coffee, and seeing her standing in front of the stove with something sizzling in a heavy skillet, would always make her smile.

"Morning, baby," Garfield sniggered, and Adi automatically turned and stuck her tongue out at her big brother. He was a total meanie, and she wanted him to know that she hated him, but he wasn't even looking. It wasn't fair.

"Good morning, Adelaide," Mom turned and gently petted the top of her head with one hand before going back to her cooking. Then in a slightly different voice: "I thought she was going to be in a gingham dress today, a little older?"

"She wants to be a baby a little longer," Toni shrugged, talking right over Adelaide's head. Adi wanted to be annoyed at them talking past her, like she wasn't even there. She wanted to be mad, and she knew she should be, but the feelings just weren't there. It just made her feel small and helpless, like a little kid whose opinion didn't matter. And somehow her girlfriend talking over her like that made her blush and want to disappear in a way that wasn't all bad.

"Okay," Mom accepted that without any kind of argument. She should have guessed that Adi didn't find babyhood that appealing, but right now she seemed happy to go along with what the others were saying. "Did you tell her we're going to be seeing Aiden today? I can imagine if she's got to be grown-up enough to meet with her father, she'd want to be littler for the rest of the day. Take the edge off it a little."

"I think she wants to stay a baby right through. I told her that if she didn't cooperate while I put her in a diaper, I'd force her to be a baby all day. And then once I told her that she could grow up a little to meet him, she started kicking and fighting so I had to turn the mobile on after all. I think that's a pretty clear answer."

"No!" Adi tried to interrupt, so she could set the record straight. But as soon as her mouth was open, she found a silicone blob pushed between her lips. She tried to spit it out immediately, even before she realised that someone was trying to get her to drink from a bottle. She kept on trying to spit it out even after the recognised the taste of Mom's coffee, but Toni wasn't in the mood for any naughtiness today.

"Adelaide, you want to be a good girl don't you? Just enjoy your breakfast, and don't make trouble."

Adi nodded, and started to suck on the nipple. She was drinking from a baby's bottle today, or one of the cups she'd got for her birthday set up so that it looked like a giant baby bottle. But the coffee tasted so good, and she wanted to please the grown-ups more than anything. Maybe, just maybe, if she could show them what a good girl she was they might let her be a big girl later. Somewhere inside her mind she knew that it wasn't going to happen, but the hope seemed so strong. She just had to be a good girl, and do what she was told. It felt so good to behave, and she knew that at that moment she would have done anything in the world if Mommy told her to. As if drinking really nice coffee and eating pancakes needed a lot of persuading.

She tried to grab a knife to cut her pancakes, but her fingers didn't move how she wanted. All she could do was grasp with her whole hand, and after three or four tries she still didn't manage to pick up the knife from the rack at the side of the table. And then Garfield was pulling it out of reach, setting the silverware where she couldn't reach at all. Adi screwed up her fists and pounded on the table, but she couldn't think of anything else she could do to get her knife back.

"Come along, Adelaide," Mommy said, and lifted up Adi's hands. This felt like it might be some sort of game, and holding onto her anger seemed just as hard as picking up anything. She was starting to giggle already, not even knowing what Mommy wanted her to do. "Don't fuss, baby. You don't need a knife and fork for pancakes, you can eat with your fingers, can't you?"

Adi looked down at the pancake as Mommy closed her fingers around it. She squeezed tighter, and managed to lift it up from her plate. She knew she was making a mess, and her fingers were already covered in a thin layer of oil from the pancake, but she'd managed to pick something up and that felt so good. She tried to remember if it always felt so good to grab something, but she didn't know. She couldn't remember, she just knew that she'd done something she hadn't been able to before, and it seemed like she was winning in a tiny way against all the hypnotic suggestions. She could get over this, she could prove that she was still a big girl.

She couldn't hear what Toni was whispering to her, it sounded almost like baby talk. She knew that her Mommy was telling her what she wouldn't be able to do if she were a baby, but beyond that she knew that breakfast was going to be a mini mystery tour filled with surprises, and she couldn't have been more excited.

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