136: Starting How I Mean to Go On

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Adelaide opened her eyes, and looked around the tiny space of her room in confusion for a moment. Everything was out of place, just different enough that she couldn't work out for a second where she was or why. Then everything came back into focus. Toni standing beside her, stopping the motion of the mobile that had so easily captured her attention. All her possessions arranged neatly around the edges of her bedroom, in the weeks she hadn't been here. Her desk had become a changing table, with a rainbow of pastel colours on the top. She was on her bed now, though she didn't remember getting in bed, and it seemed to be surrounded by an unfamiliar cage of white-painted wooden bars. Even the books on her shelves had changed: textbooks had been removed, or turned around out of sight, so the titles she saw now were all picture books suitable for a little kid.

"Morning, sleepy head," Toni said, just as soon as Adi's eyes had stopped darting around the room.

"Did I fall asleep?" Adi tried to ask the first thing that came to her mind, "How did I get here?" But both questions were rendered incomprehensible by something in her mouth. After a second probing with her tongue, she identified the silicone filling her mouth as a pacifier. She reached up to remove it, but in her half-awake state took two attempts to grab the guard.

"Don't worry, Adelaide," Toni reached down to sit Adi up before she even thought of doing it herself. "You just had a little nap. Now, can you be good for me, and we'll see if there's some presents waiting for you?"

Adi started peeing as soon as she heard her name. She immediately started to worry, hoping she'd not wet the bed. But hew probing hand found the thick bulk of a diaper between her legs, starting to swell and become warm. That was okay, then. As long as she was diapered there was no reason to be embarrassed about a little accident.

Another thought hot on the heels of the first. She knew that was wrong, but she couldn't say why. It seemed so obvious to her now, but she couldn't see the flaw in her reasoning. She was wearing a diaper, so nobody would even know if she was wet. She knew somewhere deep inside her mind that the hypnosis thing was messing with her thoughts, and she wouldn't normally think about that. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't work out what was wrong with the deduction.

"Are you wet, baby?" Toni asked, maybe figuring out what was worrying Adi right away. "Do you need changing?"

Adi looked down at the diaper. It was a pastel pink one, with a pattern of clouds all across it. It wasn't over the top but it was still a cute pattern, and she knew that the ones like this were more expensive than regular diapers. She didn't want to waste it, after somebody had been so nice to buy it for her.

"Umm..." she mumbled through the pacifier, "little bit? It's okay for now." She shook her head at the same time, hoping that would make her meaning clear even if some of the words were swallowed up by the silicone and plastic object she was sucking on.

Toni might not have been able to hear, because she reached down and put her hand on the front of Adi's diaper. A second later she was testing again, with two fingers gently slipping under the edge of the diaper. But she seemed satisfied.

"Just a little accident?" Toni asked. "I think you'll be okay until later for a change. Right?"

Adi nodded. It was so much easier than trying to speak right now.

"Okay then. So, come down and show everyone what a good girl you can be. Okay?"

Adi backed away a little, at least as far as the bars around her bed would let her. But she knew that she needed to be good. She wanted to impress Toni, to do what the grown-up had told her. And if that meant waiting a few more minutes before she said the safe word, then she could live with that.

"Are you nervous about other people seeing you like that?"

Adi nodded again. It was taking some time to get over the little hurdle in her mind, but she was nearly there now. She needed to let Toni know that she really didn't want to do this. But every time she stopped struggling with it, she found herself assuming that the responsible adult had to be right. There was a war going on in her mind, and she'd never imagined it would be so hard. She was sure it had never been this hard before, but what had changed? Staring at a mobile for ten minutes surely couldn't weaken her self control, or strengthen the babyish impulses so much.

"It's okay, baby. I don't want to push you somewhere you're uncomfortable with, even after you put on that special top. Would you rather get changed first, so you're not running around with just a T-shirt and diapers?"

"Yeah!" Adi exclaimed, and the pacifier tumbled out of her mouth. That would be so much better, she jumped at the chance right away.

"I'll geet changed!" Then she tried to climb out of bed, but before she could get there Toni was holding her by the arms again, gentle but firm.

"Hold on, little one. If you're a baby then you won't be able to climb out of your crib by yourself. You'll need me to lift you. And if you were a baby, you wouldn't be able to dress yourself without help either." She paused a second, and then showed a little of her own nerves, asking: "Is that okay, baby?"

"I can do it myself," Adi meant the words to be sarcastic, determined. But when she heard them in her own voice, they sounded a little more whiny. She sounded like she was on the point of crying, and she was sure that wasn't how she felt. She was the smart one, the one who always knew what she was doing, and she wouldn't let a couple of posthypnotic suggestions bring her down so easily.

As Toni backed away she grabbed the bars of her crib and tried to pull herself upright. They weren't high, only a few feet above the surface of the bed, and it should be easy to get out. But somehow she didn't have the strength to stand up on the bed, and everytime she tried to swing a leg over the top she found herself missing, striking her ankles on the cheap timber. She was trapped, and she knew now that she'd have to rely on Mommy to help her out of this strange prison.

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