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AUTHOR'S POV:

Y/N FOCUS:

Y/n woke up late and realised that now that Jin was gone, she had to make breakfast for the rest of her brothers. Not because she's a girl. The reason was simple. Namjoon would demolish the whole neighbourhood if asked to enter the kitchen, Yoongi would kill anyone who dared to enter his room and wake him up, and Hoseok would be loud enough in the kitchen to wake Yoongi up which would result in Yoongi killing them all. So, she had to do it

She stayed in bed, blinking for some fifty minutes staring at the wall and thinking whether or not to cook. She finally decided to go get them some bagels and coffee from the nearby cafe.

She went through her morning routine and pulled out an outfit from her suitcase.

She went through her morning routine and pulled out an outfit from her suitcase

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with a white beanie. Before exiting she gave her clothes a rueful glance and memories from her childhood flooded her mind.

At this point she wasn't even sure who she was anymore.

Having grown up with four brothers had been difficult for her. And she hated when someone reminded her she was different than them.

"No y/n, Yoongi is not your hyung he's your Oppa!"

"But hobi hyung calls him hyung orite?"

"Because hobi is a boy, you're a girl. Girls have to say Oppa!"

"I'm not a girl!" She would stomp her foot and run away.

She kept thinking about the past, even after she was at the cafe and had placed her order.

She remembered how she wanted to do everything they did but the truth was, she did face discrimination and it hurt like shit. Guys other than her brothers wouldn't let her play soccer with them because 'she's a girl', she'd be forced to sit with other girls and play with barbies and have stupid tea parties . That was when she started hating barbies with a fervour.

Her frocks would get stuck here and there so she abandoned them altogether and started dressing up like her brothers. Same was true for her hair.

In short, she suppressed her own feminine side just so she could be treated equal and feel free even though sometimes, like very rarely, she did wish to feel like other girls. She wanted to feel safe in the strong arms of a lover. She wanted to be more like a girl... if that was a thing actually. To wear dresses, to have longer hair, she too wanted to wear make up... well not that but she wanted the other things.

But, now was not the time.

Because now she was all for herself.

She had to find the right person who would treat her like a queen regardless of her gender and then she'd express herself. She could wear dresses at times, and her boyish clothes at others. She'd grow longer or medium length hair sometimes but mostly she'd keep it short like present. Not to forget all the free cuddles she'd get from that one special person. That person who'd love her and protect her and tell her she's precious.

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