Condoms ✓

Twenty Eight

"What?"

"You heard me, kiss me," Felix repeated again, not daring to break eye contact.

I shook my head. No, I couldn't do that to Jisung. I just got him back and I wasn't about to lose him again due to me kissing Felix.

"Felix, you know I can't do that," I told him, trying to convince him that this was wrong.

"It's just one, Eva, please," he pleaded, his eyes watering in the process.

I broke eye contact with him, not being able to look at him as he cried because it made me feel horrible. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't kiss him because then all I would feel is guilt.

I sighed and walked closer to Felix. I stood less than a foot away from his own two feet and looked up at him to meet his gaze again. His eyes were sad and his face was flushed red as he sniffled.

I scooted closer and leaned in as he held his breath and stood still. He then closed his eyes and waited for my lips to meet his as I yet again neared closer and closer. Just as my lips were about to meet his, I turned away and my lips met his cheek instead. It was a short kiss and I rested my head on his shoulder when I pulled my lips away from his cheek. 

When I finally pulled away from him and took a step back, his surprised eyes searched my face for something, for any emotion. My face was blank, still unsure of how I should feel. I didn't feel anything strong towards him, I still felt the same as before. It wasn't going to change. 

His gaze met the ground and he took a deep breath before finally speaking up. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that of you," He shook his head, "I'll just go, bye Eva," Felix walked away before I could say anything else, leaving me standing alone, guilt immediately finding it's way to my chest. 

I'm sorry, Felix.

                                                                           -----------------------

My eyes followed the plastic spoon as I spun it around the coffee cup in boredom. Jisung had called me earlier and told me he wanted to meet up in the morning, but seemed to be running late. The coffee shop was awfully quiet today, the barista and two other costumers being the only ones accompanying me in the silence. 

I unlocked my phone to see if I had received any messages from Jisung, but there was none. I sighed and set it aside, leaning my head on my hand and closed my eyes briefly. A hand suddenly brushed against my back, making me jump in surprise and I turned around and met eyes with a smiley Jisung. 

"Sorry for being late, Chan had a little trouble getting some one night stand to leave his apartment and when I went to go check if you were still at yours, you were already gone," He explained as he sat down. 

"Gross, he's still screwing around with girls?" I scoffed. 

"Yup, and apparently he's almost run out of condoms too, but didn't he get like 20 packs that one time he woke us up at like 2 in the morning?" Jisung asked me before he took a sip of his own coffee I had ordered for him a while go. 

"He's almost out? Man, how many people is he shagging a day?" I scrunched up my face in disgust. 

He shrugged and both of us grew quiet after a while.

"You know," Jisung said after a while, "Felix called me crying last night," He said. 

My ears perked up at this. Felix probably told him before I could and Jisung was most likely feeling upset about it. I inwardly sighed and felt bad yet again. 

"Why? What did he say?" I asked him, curious as to what Felix had told him. 

"He told me that he had caught feelings for you when we were on our break," He said, his fingers messing around with a napkin in front of him. 

"...and that you kissed him on the cheek yesterday," He said as he pushed the napkin aside to look at me again. 

I stayed silent as I stared at my coffee cup. 

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"No," was his reply, making my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. 

"No?" I repeated.

"You sound so surprised," He chuckled.

"Well yeah, I thought you'd get mad," I shrugged. 

"He explained it to me, said he told you to kiss him, but you kissed him on the cheek instead," He said.

I nodded and leaned back in my chair as I sighed. 

"Well I couldn't exactly kiss him on the lips," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," He stayed silent after that.

"I feel bad, you know," I told him, honestly.

"I basically friend zoned him and then kissed him on the cheek, I feel horrible," I expressed. 

Jisung reached across the table and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. 

"You're not the only one who does, even I do. I mean, I am his friend after all. He was expecting me to be mad, but I couldn't find it in me to feel any anger. He's one of my best friends and I care about him," Jisung explained. 

"After all, it's bros before hoes," Jisung smirked which caused a glare to be sent his way and a hard punch from me.