«Dr. Kim, Don't Fear Me» [K.n.j & K.s.j]

116 ⸸

Namjoon's steps were heard from a mile away, the more his pace quickened. Knowing there was still a way he could find Seokjin was enough to help him gain strength in his tired muscles to keep pushing forward.

He didn't have the energy he had in him yesterday, but his adrenaline levels weren't slowing him down. Seokjin could be anywhere in the forest.

No matter how many times the doctor called out his name, he received no response in return. There was no sign of Seokjin anywhere.

From far away he noticed that the paramedics were carrying someone in their stretcher. The body was stored inside of a black bag, zipped up from head to toe.

Namjoon pushed through the endless news reporters and others who were around the area and headed towards the paramedics that were entering an ambulance with the body
they had on their stretcher.

Just when he was about to find out who was inside of the bag, "Wait! Sir, you can't go through there!" he was stopped by one of the policemen standing outside of the ambulance.

"Let me in, I'm a doctor!" Namjoon knew what body was stored within the bag. That body belonged to Seokjin.

"Seokjin!!" He pushed through the policemen who allowed him to enter the ambulance. The paramedics gave him space as the doctor unzipped the bag.

When he had fully unzipped it, there was no one there. The bag was empty.

Everyone was in shock.

Everyone expect for Namjoon, who had gotten out of the ambulance to search for Seokjin again.

"He must have heard me. I knew it! He is alive!" The doctor's heart was now racing with anticipation of finding the man. He retraced his steps once more and tried to remember the last place he went to.

The place he had woken up. All of his angst and worry would disappear once he would find that place.

"Seokjin... Are you here?" He was breathless, feeling very tired and worn out. There was no hope left for Namjoon to ever find Seokjin.

"Just let me see you one last time, please." He entered the gates that Seokjin and him walked through, only to find nothing. To his misfortune, the mansion was no longer there.

But this time, Namjoon wasn't there in search for that place. What he wanted to find was right underneath him.

He knelt down to the dirt and dug up a hole, then he took his ring off, and held it in his hand along with Seokjin's ring. He buried both of the rings and found something beyond what he was searching for when he was about to leave: A grave.

Unlike all of the other graves he saw last night, this was the only grave within the forest. It was very small, so the doctor had to crouch down further to figure out what was written on the tombstone.

His heart was shattered into a million pieces, as tears threatened to spill out from his eyes. Eyes that had nothing but tiredness and suffering in them.

"Here lies: Kim Seokjin.

1992 - 2019

A friend to some, a stranger to most, and a lover to one.

Rest In Peace." Namjoon began to hyperventilate as he placed his shaking hands on top of the grave.

Reality hit him in the most cruel way possible, and the reality was that everyone was right and he was wrong.

Seokjin truly was dead this time and he couldn't do anything to bring him back to life.

He felt as if a gun had shot right through his heart and blew it up in a million pieces. The doctor couldn't walk, his legs kept wobbling and his lips were quivering.

While he mourned the loss of his lover, Namjoon felt someone touch his shoulder.

"Your life isn't in danger anymore, Namjoon. Seokjin won't hurt you anymore, Joonie."

He turned around to find Mina standing behind him. She crouched down, rubbing his shoulder.

"You're going to be okay." The doctor didn't have the strength to even speak, yet he did.

"Seokjin did hurt me. He hurt me because he left me..." He stood up to continue talking.

"My life 'is' in danger because Seokjin is no longer in it anymore." The doctor pushed Mina back, using a slight force. Not enough to knock her down, but surely enough to intimidate her.

"Okay? How can I be okay if the man I love is now gone? I'll never be okay. Never!"

The woman suddenly said something unpredictable.

"You'll learn to love again. You're still young, Namjoon. You will get over him." Namjoon was appalled by her lack of sensitivity towards him. She showed no sympathy towards him whatsoever.

"You and the word 'Love' have one function for me in life at the moment." He watched as his friend became excited waiting for him to answer.

"Really? What is it?" She smiled.

"They're both useless. I'll never love anyone the way I loved Seokjin. And I'll never love you. I'm sorry, Mina. You're just a friend to me..." Mina stepped back as Namjoon kept speaking his mind.

"But seeing how rude and motionless you could be to someone who just lost their lover makes you less than a friend. You and I are nothing but strangers now. So please leave, because I don't socialize with strangers." Namjoon has never been this cold-hearted to anyone, especially not to any of his friends, but he wasn't in the right mind to talk to anyone right now.

All that the man wanted was to be alone, and to possibly die alone.

He never thought he could become this miserable to a point where the only thing he could look forward to was death.

The meaning behind his sudden desire to be dead was the simple reason for seeing Seokjin once more. Namjoon knew that dying was an automatic gateway to find Seokjin again, and it was a risk that he was willing to take.

Death didn't scare him anymore. Nothing scared him more than losing Seokjin.

If there was anything he could do to get his lover back, the doctor was willing to do anything and everything.

Yet the only thing that the man ended up doing was walking towards the place he had buried the rings and lay down next to the small pile of dirt in the middle of the forest.

He was all alone, with no one around and no hopes of him ever returning back home. There were too many memories of Seokjin in his apartment.

He remembers the first day that his companion saw his house. He was such a tall, shy man with a strange black mask on.

The day he had exposed his true personality to the doctor, when he opened his mouth.

"Dr. Kim, don't fear me." His voice lingered around Namjoon's head.

All of those nights Namjoon spent trying to uncover new information on Seokjin, when it was really Seokjin that ended up uncovering something within the doctor.

All of those nights he spent holding onto Seokjin's fragile body, warming up the man's cold skin against his own body warmth.

All of those nights and all the doctor needed was just one more. One more day or night just to see Seokjin.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye..."