Today was a shitty day. Shitty seems to be the dominant description of my life as of late. :/
I missed her more than usual.
I know I get depressing, but if I were to keep in inside then I would probly end up overdosing on sleep meds because sleep is the only time that I don't think about her.
I dream about her, but that is wonderful.
In my dreams I can be with her in every way i've ever wanted.
In my dreams I can be with her in a physical sense.
In my dreams I can be with her in the emotional sense.
In my dreams I can just plain old spend time with her.
I find it extremely ironic that people who are in relationships for a few weeks or months and then break up get to see eachother every day. Do you think that they really love each other?
I don't.
Yet I've found someone I would give my entire life to no matter what and I only see her about 6 times a year. I really hope that we move soon so that I could get a damn job.
A job would make EVERYTHING easier.
I could pay for my school.
I could pay for a new car.
a new car... jeez, you have no idea how much I need that.
If I had a car, I could be going to school right now.
If I had a car, I could be driving to and from work.
but I need work to get a car so that I can drive to work.
I need school to get a good job that will pay for a car.
I need a job to pay for school.
I cant have one without the other. But I need the other to get one or another.
Fuck you. Fuck me. skhfoasdfhasodfhafdsgahfdss
I'm going to go to sleep now. Hoping I'll either have a dream with her in it or a nightmare that has zombies in it.
G'night.
