Phan Oneshots!

Smile

Omschrijving- (Dutch) Daniel rarely smiles. He's known to be depressed his whole life. When Phil comes into the picture, he changes that. This is vv deep btw. Also, wtaf how has this gotten over 500 reads in 3 DAYS???? Thank you!!!!!!! I wuv you all! ❤️❤️❤️

Dan's POV-

I am Daniel Howell and I'm depressed. I don't know who I am or why I am a person. At least, that's what I'd say when I was around 20-24. I've had depression for a while. I still have it now. But depression can sometimes be very deep rooted. I'd say I have depression because of the people around me. When people around you act depressed, have depression or talk about depression a lot, likely good is that'll become people's way of life, way of thinking. And that's why I think most people today suffer from depression.

People say having someone, even a pet, to love doesn't help. They don't emit serotonin. Whilst this may be true, it's different from my experience. You see, I met this guy. He was my best friend. I loved him. Still do. However, once I realised I far from loved him platonically, things started becoming more clear to me.

I rarely smile. I don't see the point in it. You only smile if you're happy. Because of my depression, I'm not fully happy. I still always have this permanent black hole in my mind, even when I overcome depression, it'll still be there. I can't help that. 

What I started to realise was he made me smile. Genuinely. He made me happy. Whilst people say you chose how to react to things, he still never fails to make me feel happy. He's there for me when I need him and when I don't. He supports me unconditionally. 

He makes me feel happy, loved, calm... all the bad feelings just don't matter. I love him. And he's helping me fight this. I'm not telling him to, he's just a good person. I love him. I'm in love with Phil Lester and he loves me back. And no matter how unhappy I felt and feel, it doesn't matter when I'm with him.