AUTHOR: @L1ve2R1se
REVIEWER: @lirusen
though I feel like the 'Blood of Redemption' ought to be the same font as 'A Darius French Horror'. The summary is fairly short and pretty concise - awesome.
Chapter 1:
Let's start with the very first paragraph - the one in italics. It creates suspense, and immediately sets the scene of the story. However, there is an extensive use of ellipses that slows the pacing a little, and incorrectly using more than three dots (grammar-wise, there should only be three dots per ellipsis). There is some effect to using them in "evil...pain...hurt...", but because you've used it a bunch more times in the next few sentences, it seems to drag on a bit and slow the pacing down too much.
Nice description to open the scene, and giving us information gradually without making it a word vomit (so far, at least) is going great. Minor grammar mistake - in the sentence "Needless to say, the one responsible for said senseless act had no chance to get the last laugh of any kind; as she had died that very same night.", the semi-colon is misused. A semi-colon is to link two complete thoughts (sentences) that are closely related, but with the inclusion of 'as', a conjunction, right after the semi-colon, this makes the clause it is in a dependent clause rather than a complete thought. Either, you would leave out the 'as', or keep it and replace the semi-colon with a comma. The latter is recommended since semi-colons should be used sparingly.
Earlier on, you mention Carrie's grave being nothing more than a "tombstone that had a..." which is followed through Carrie's rising from it, literally. Logically speaking, a grave is a hole that one lowers a body (usually dead), so I initially thought all there was was the tombstone rather than Carrie's body as well. You could change the wording to describe how the tombstone was the only item to mark her grave, or something along those lines.
There are multiple tense changes: you initially begin with past tense, and then, for example, when Carrie arises, most of that scene is in present tense ("another hand pops out seconds later as both arms sluggishly pull"). By the end of the first chapter, you've switched almost completely to present.
Your description is pretty good, and helps me visualise her surroundings and her actions very well. Each character introduction is well described. The transitions in the latter half of chapter one between Carrie/Desjardin and Sue Snell are pretty abrupt and confusing, so perhaps make the scene changes clearer (just like a few asterisks or something like that in between).
However, as I progressed into Chapter 2, I was pretty confused how Desjardin could simply have Carrie move in with her. The hospital would have to know who she was considering she was on the verge of death upon arrival (and other legalities along those lines, such as Desjardin convincing authorities she suddenly has a daughter). And after the destruction Carrie caused, it's surprising that not many recognise her - after all, she is meant to be dead, and the events only occurred a few months before the present (then again, most witnesses did die at prom). Additionally, I would've thought Desjardin would be more fearful of Carrie at first rather than express some kind of motherly concern. Even if Carrie did spare her from prom night, Desjardin witnessed Carrie's wrath upon others with powers she's never seen before - how does she know for certain that Carrie will never act like that towards her?
Continuing with the story, we find a new love interest by the name of Sean, who is pursued by Kaitlyn, who'll presumably be our antagonist (I don't find much character depth in her, really, she's pretty similar to the high school queen bee common on Wattpad). I do like the interactions with Carrie and the Fords, and their characters are pretty well distinct. Carrie and Sue finally interacting with each other was also quite interesting, especially Carrie's reaction to her.
Overall, a great story with good potential (I'm just a pretty nitpicky person). I hope this helped and wasn't too harsh (and apologies for reviewing it so late)!
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