AUTHOR: @Luna_Vaethenee
REVIEWER: Lirusen
A note: I've been quite honest in this review, and I've tried to not make it too harsh.
The cover is lovely, very fiery and suggests a fantasy-like story.
At first glance, I can see the grammar needs to be improved - you need spaces after commas, full stops, and exclamation/question marks. There are also many other grammatical mistakes, such as complete clauses that should be their own sentences or at least altered instead of simply added onto another by using a comma. I suggest using Grammarly.
The way she escapes in Chapter 1 is unrealistic - if it were that easy to just slip past the guards, why didn't she escape earlier? What makes that night so different from other nights? Has she been planning to do this for a long time? And when packing her belongings, she mentions having a phone (I assume it's cheap). If she's constantly abused, I doubt they would give her a phone, and they don't pay her either, so where did she get it from? There are a fair few plot holes and events you need to describe in more detail. Description in general is needed - use more varied vocabulary.
You've established the settings well, and I can imagine where she is at different points in the story.
In Chapter 3, however, the dialogue between Xander and Cecilia really needs improvement (as well as their characters). Xander, to be blunt, acts a little whiny - 'we're so done!' - and Cecilia is portrayed as one of those stereotypical stuck up girls who are sensitive to everything.
To be very honest, Cecilia, Hailee and Xander are all very cliché characters that it's not surprising when Xander looks at Hailee and says 'Mate'. While cliché may work for you, I suggest adding some depth to their characters. When Xander suggests the game in Chapter 5 where they pretend to be in love and have to try not to fall in love, it seems similar to a typical Wattpad high school story.
Personally, I'm more interested in knowing about this secret that Hailee nor Xander is aware of that's mentioned in the summary. Her mother was once a Luna Queen, and the first human to do so - immediately I'm interested. What made her so special that she had such a prestigious title? How come Hailee is a werewolf (I assume she is due to the mate bond and such) but her mother is human? Does this tie in with Hailee's heritage? Why she was abused? Does it relate to the title of the story, the 'The Witch Queen'?
You have a very promising premise, but I think a lot of improvement is needed. You emphasise on Hailee and Xander's relationship that it takes away from that suspenseful element, but don't take it out - incorporate it carefully. Cliché is fine and matters to each person individually, but make sure you have character development so they don't seem flat, but quite interesting and complex.
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