AUTHOR: @_born_sarcastic__
REVIEWER: Lirusen
Awesome cover, it fits the genre and themes of the story well. The summary is also intriguing, especially with the last few sentences creating suspense and making me ask many questions (in a good way!).
The first thing I notice when I begin reading is that you use a lot of adverbs - while this improves, try to limit them, and use the characters' actions to show how they're acting. Also, remember to use commas when using dialogue tags e.g.
"Hello," she greeted.
rather than
"Hello." She greeted.
Other than that, your grammar is great.
You established the backstory well without making it an info dump. However, at the end of the first chapter, I felt that when Lynn and Eyrx knew they were mates and Eyrx rejected her, it happened a little too quickly. And when Braelynn leaves, Eryx's reactions seem over the top. I suggest describing more of how they react towards each other, and especially Eryx's regret - it feels too rushed and unjustified.
It's interesting to see how we see through Zephyr and Esme's perspectives while also developing the plot. And I did not expect the twist in Chapter 4! The creativity and originality of this story is great. As a side note, try and be more descriptive and vary your vocab.
The flashback chapter is confusing - when exactly does this occur relative to the other chapter? It appears that this happens before the previous chapter, as in Ch 6 Zephyr mentions his mate rejecting him at first sight (this itself is confusing until I read the flashback). Then in the flashback chapter, it says 'three years four months before' while also later mentioning it's been eight months since Lynn joined the pack - does this mean everything happening before chapter 5 is in the past? The order of events I found hard to get my head around, so perhaps make it clearer as to where in time things are happening.
Other than that, it was enjoyable and interesting.
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