Baby Daddy - namjin

t w e n t y - t w o

This chapter is a bit messy. Let me know if there are any errors or things that don't make sense.

QOTD: What's you're favorite BTS Run episode?

My answer: I love all of them but the one they got tricked into going to a zombie park was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing.

Warnings for this chapter:

•mentions of drugs
•gun use/ threatening
•use of curse words (more than usaul)
• an anxiety attack
•a bit of soft namjoon uwu and baby yoongi
•mature language (kink jokes and shit)

.............

Unedited

"Stop it," Namjoon hisses at his own hands and they tremble before his sight.

His anxious eyes glance at the clock on the wall. It's only been two minutes, he thinks to himself.

Yes, it's been two minutes since Seokjin had left to go use the restroom and Namjoon felt pretty antsy. He doesn't know why he started feeling this way but he just can't seem to stop being so restless and staring at the clock with such intensity that people think he's frozen.

He pats his lap with his left hand to the beat of an old Kanye West song playing in the cafe while his right hand is occupied with his pen. He scribbles random shapes and bundles of lines, trying to distract himself from the slowly erupting feeling of fear.

Namjoon soon loses interest in patting his lap and goes to take a sip of his tea but as he tries to grab it, his fingers slip and the drink spills on to the table. He saves the notebook from being wet and can only curse the universe for making him so awkward. He stares at the mess on the table and wishes for Seokjin to be there. Seokjin would scold him about it, clean it up, and then laugh about it later.

But Jin wasn't there; only Namjoon.

And the thought alone scares him.

He has no mom or dad anymore, which makes him feel lonely. Really lonely. And outside of work, he's introverted and doesn't have time to hang out with coworkers or make new friends.

All he really has is Seokjin. And of course, Yoongi.

His eyes burn, chest starting to burn in sync with them. He's experienced panic attacks a few times before but he'll never get used to them. He closes his eyes and counts to ten, hoping to calm the raging storm developing in his head. By four his cheeks are flushed, by six they're painted in glossy tears, by eight his skin feels like it's burning- he rubs his arms anxiously at nine. When he gets to ten, he opens his eyes again only to be met with an empty chair in front of him, iced tea dripping onto his pants, and a new found realization.

Was Seokjin actually there with him? Or was it just his imagination?

He blinks four times, head swirling a hundred miles per hour. Did he really just hallucinate?

No, he thinks to himself. No. Seokjin is here. I'm not crazy.

But then he sees it.

There was only on cup of tea on the table and that was his that had spilled. The chair was pushed in and there was no other signs that another life had been occupying it recently.

Namjoon swears to himself, pinches himself. This can't be true. Seokjin was here! He felt him and he heard him and he seen him! He has got to be here. Otherwise, Namjoon will dub himself as crazy.

His chest burns again with another familiar feeling. Close to heartbreak but not exactly the same. More like loneliness. And it burns like a bee sting. The realization that you are by yourself and that there is no one out there that cares for you is heartbreaking. It's a feeling of fear seasoned with pain. Because now, you are walking this Earth alone.