Deadly Nightshade [Jeongchan]

Twenty Three

I stared at the ceiling in the dark while we lay side by side. I probably made this situation awkward by telling him about the origins of my scar. I turn my head to look over at him and check if he was actually sleeping. His eyes were already fixated on me.

"did you ever return Hohyeon's feelings?" he whispered, inspecting every detail of my face as best as he could in the darkness.

I shook my head lightly, the pillow rustling against my hair. "I always saw him like a friend, like a brother. I didn't even know what love was back then" i explained, staring back at him just as strongly.

"and you do now?" he questioned. I blinked. Love? I know what it is by definition but i don't think I've ever experienced it. I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair trying to understand what he made me feel. He slowly grabbed my wrist, pulled it down lower and  planted a soft kiss on the back of my hand. I felt my heart skip a beat when he looked back up at me with an inexplicable glint in his eye.

"I think I have a better understanding of it" I whispered softly. He smiled and laced his fingers with mine. I rolled over on my side to face him.

How can a gang leader be so soft?

"how did you end up in this type of business?" i asked, genuinely curious to know more about him. In fact i know nothing about him at all. I have gotten to know the others quite a bit, their likes, dislikes, their jobs, their past. But him, all i know is what the others have told me. Which isn't much.

It was quiet for a moment after i asked the question, i nearly took it back. "I used to live overseas as a kid. I was raised by my single mother but when i was about thirteen she got very sick. We were too poor to afford any treatment. She could no longer work so we ran out of food and i was too young to get a job" He began, looking down at our linked hands and fidgeting with my fingers.

"You stole?"

He nodded. "I stole food and medicine from stores, I pickpocketed, I beat up other kids for their food and money, I made my friends steal for me. I did everything i could to keep my mom and I alive" he sighed deeply. "It was all in vain when one of my friend got caught stealing by the cops and bribed to sell me out as well. I was taken to the station later that day to be questioned and when i came home, my mom was-" he paused and i felt his grip on my hand tighten slightly.

"I'm sorry" i breathed out softly. His lip curled into a half smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He was only a kid when he began stealing to make his mother live only to lose her in the end.

"i was left alone on the streets for over a month before i was picked up by a group of the Korean mafia after attempting to pickpocket them. Obviously they caught me, i was an amateur. They took me back to Korea out of pity and trained me for seven whole years. I wouldn't get along with any of the gangs so i would always go solo. Until i met Jisung and Changbin"

"I never would have thought that you went through all of that, must have been really rough" I sympathized. And I thought i had it bad. "I guess we're both broken in some way" I mumbled mostly to myself.

Suddenly he let go of my hand and pulled me in  by the waist until our bodies pressed against each other. The action made my cheeks swell red but luckily it was dark enough for him not to notice the slight shift in hue. My heartbeat quickened at the sudden closeness, it felt so intimate. We both told about our darkest times and memories. It feels like my heart is slowly opening up to him.

"Earlier you said that you weren't taking this lightly and that you weren't messing around. You said that you didn't hate me" I started. I looked away from his piercing eyes and directed them down to his bare chest only causing me to blush more. His habit of sleeping shirtless is so inconvenient right now. "what do you really think of me?" I squeaked out awkwardly.

His soft chuckle reverberated through my core before he hooked his leg around mine, bringing our bodies even closer together. "the moment you stepped foot into my home i could feel you're not like anyone I've met before"

"Cause i dared to sass you?" I joked. He scoffed and poked my sides teasingly. I squirmed from the ticklish feeling and muffled my laughter with the blanket.

He finally let go of me and smiled at me fondly while brushing my hair back. "you have the brightest smile despite having been through so much, you're unapologetically yourself and you are so much stronger than you seem. It's so enticing" he listed off things about me that i never thought of. I'm only headstrong because I'm stubborn. "I remember the first time i saw you smile, when you first met Seungmin. I was so taken aback i had to put on my mask to cover my expression" He chuckled at the memory. I tried to remember the moment he was referring to. I remember thinking that he just didn't care since he walked into the office without waiting for us.

"you're impossible to understand at times" I sighed. His actions always seem to contradict his thoughts and words. Thinking back on things, I always assumed he hated me with the way he treated me all this time.

"Just shut up and sleep already" He whispered and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I held my breath and tensed for a moment at the unfamiliarity of the feeling. I haven't been held like this... probably ever. I eventually relaxed and pressed my head against his chest with a slight smile.

This feels warm.

"Thank you Chan" I mumbled, beginning to fall asleep as the warmth took over my body. "For everything" I managed to say sleepily before i felt his lips press lightly against my forehead.

"Good night Jeongin"

________________________________

I just now realize that this entire chapter is one conversation.

Its starting to smell like filler content here.

Oh well hope you enjoyed it anyways.