Parinayanantaram

Love it is

The drive was silent. Once we reached home, Siri rushed into kitchen.

“You must be tired. Shall we order food from outside?” I asked.

“No, it’s fine. I am not tired. I can make something light for us.”

“Let me help then.” I snatched the knife from her and began chopping vegetables. She stared at me for a moment and turned around with a sigh.

“Are you done with chopping?” She asked, once she placed rice in pressure cooker.

“Almost!” I bit my lip, trying my best to chop faster without getting my fingers in between. I had plenty of experience in getting fingers cut.

Few minutes later, I completed my job successfully, without putting my fingers to danger. “Done!” I turned around with a grin.

Siri was leaning by the kitchen counter playing absent-mindedly with the chain that I put around her neck, during our marriage.

But her eyes where fixed on … Me!?

{Yay! Party!
Oh please shut up and let me enjoy the moment.
Go ahead, make use of the opportunity.
What?
That is why I call you dumb. Can’t you see that she is admiring your …}

The whistle of the cooker hooted, pulling us out of a potentially romantic moment.
{Curse my damned fate!}

Siri shook her head and began frying the vegetables to make curry. I observed her while she skilfully converted veggies to delicacies.

“You can go have rest. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” She announced, without turning towards me.

“Siri, can I ask you something?” I took the opportunity to get to know her.

{From our little ‘moment’ in the canteen, I could sense that she was beginning to get comfortable around me.}

However, I silently prayed to god, that she doesn’t go back into her shell. I might be overestimating our ‘bond’. Who could predict? ...  Women and their mood swings!

She sighed as she turned off the flame and faced me.

“Weren’t you tired after college? But still you managed to cook. I mean, how do you manage to work at home after a tiring day at college?”

For a moment, she looked at me dreamily and then her expression hardened. “I didn’t have an option.”

I blinked in confusion. She sighed and moved into the living room, sitting on the couch in Indian style. I instantly figured out that were about to have a long and deep conversation. I too sat down, close to her, facing her.

“As, you know, I am the only child to my parents. From, my childhood, I had been an introvert, with very few friends. I used to spend most of my time at home, reading silently or engaging myself in anything constructive. I wasn’t much of a help to my mother. As, I grew up, I turned into a typical tomboy. And not surprisingly, I had more boys as friends, compared to girls. I wouldn’t blame the girls. Which girl would like to play with someone who liked a basketball more than a Barbie?
And I was comfortable, immersing myself in studies until I turned 12.
That was when ‘things’ began to change. My parents who saw me like their son until then, began seeing me as their daughter. I didn’t complain. But it took a while to adjust to the changes within and around me.
I was still awkward around girls. Also, there was this invisible wall, separating the few ‘guy’ friends I had. It took a while for me to realise that those changes were permanent. My bad … I never actually had a best friend to rely on. Maybe, that is why, your bond with paaru amazes me.” She sighed.

After a few seconds of silence, she began speaking again. “That didn’t affect too much though. I just drowned in innumerable books finding peace in their pages.
But …
My parents suddenly realised something …
That I had to get married and walk away to someone’s home. And that is when I began to hate everything.”

{Oh! Did someone give you a hammer? Or did you manage the blow on my heart with your bare fist?} I cringed slightly at the harshness in her tone.

“It was always like ‘Siri, learn to cook … for your future husband.’
‘Learn to do this … for your future husband.’
‘Learn to do that … for your future husband.’
No matter what they wanted me to do, it was always accompanied with that tag.
So, I bottled it all up …”

“For your future husband.” I completed her sentence … now aware of the fact that I was the unlucky guy she had hidden all the treasure for!

“And the whole incident of Roopa, added fuel to fire.” She completed.

{Who is Roopa? What happened to her? How is that related to us?} I wanted to ask her. But I decided against it. I don’t think I will be able to handle anything more for the day.

I was buckling myself up to deal with something that I did not cause, but still held responsible for.

“But …” Her eyes lingered on my face and a smirk almost crept onto her lips … when the pressure cooker decided to be the villain again and hoot. She laughed, heading towards kitchen; leaving me in suspense. I just sat there allowing every word of hers to sink into my brain.

“Dinner is ready!” She yelled from the dining hall and I dragged myself towards it.

“But what?” I asked, once she set the plate for both. She blushed.

“Okay! Now you are killing me with suspense.” I looked at her cautiously.

She smiled.

When I had almost given up hopes, she spoke … no whispered.
“You don’t deserve it.”

“What?” The word rolled off instinctively. But once those 4 words sank into me, my heart exploded with happiness. I wasn’t hungry or tired anymore. All I wanted to do was … to stare at her.

“Is that your way of saying you love me?” I managed after a few minutes.

She shook her head, concentrating on her plate. “It is my way of saying that I don’t hate you.”

“I am honoured!” I stretched in my chair.
{I was finally, able to relax. It was like the wall between us collapsed.}

“Or … should I put it this way … You were such an awesome person that, despite my efforts; I couldn’t hate you. Your great ego satisfied?” She made sure that the sarcasm was clear. But I saw through the mask and knew she meant it.

{Oh! Who blew hot air into your head?
Shut up and let me enjoy the moment.}

“Hmm … almost perfect. But you could add the ‘falling in love with you’ part in the end.”
I suggested with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and attempted a glare which looked funny on her.

And then there was silence. But it was fine by me. There was this constant red on her cheeks, which she attempted to conceal by keeping her head bent, all the while.

After dinner, I relaxed in my bed, checking my mails, when she entered hesitantly with a book in her hand. I raised my eyebrows. “I was wondering if you could help me understand this topic.”

I sighed and signalled her to come closer. When she sat beside me, on the bed, I took the book from her and placed on the side table. “Take rest. We have all tomorrow to study. You look tired.”

She looked at me with pleading eyes. But I didn’t budge. She let out a sigh and made herself comfortable in bed. {She is fine with sharing bed? It is the best day in my life!}

I switched off the light. All we felt for a while, was darkness and silence. I was about to drift into sleep when I barely heard her whisper “Good night Hari!” A smile formed on my face. “I love you, Siri!”

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As I promised ... Long chapter ... Atleast sufficiently long .. hopefully.

Anyways ... Hope you liked it.

Now ... It's time to say Bye bye.
I'll meet you again in mid November.

Until then ... Have fun and love life.