"Did you hear?" Xavier asks me at the end of the day. "Tiana got sent home along with Amanda."
"I heard," I say, feeling tired. "I knew this would happen."
"Same. What're you going to do about your parents?"
Last night I got a call from my mom. She's trying to get me legally adopted. She needs my biological parent's permission.
"Nothing much to do, is there? How do you feel? Your mom didn't come home last night."
"I feel how you'd expect me to feel. Are you going to go over to Amanda's now? 'Cause my parents will be home and I've gotta talk to them in private."
And that's that. It's funny how we don't talk a lot sometimes but I know for a fact that he's one of the few people I'd die for.
I don't want to go back to see the girls yet, too tired to deal with it all. Too fucking tired and sometimes it's too much but-
But going our separate ways is easy. We've done it before and we can do it again. It doesn't matter if I'm worried about him. It doesn't matter that I won't like what I'd see when I get to Tiana's room. It doesn't matter that Amanda might be in a mood. It doesn't matter that I've felt fucked up since my mother called. A step is a step and a step is easy.
I start walking and, for some stupid fucking reason, my mind won't stop working.
There are some moments you want to write into poetry, toss around words you'd never use and there are some moments you'd rather forget, let the mercy of forgetfulness take over it, even though you know it won't, and there are some moments you wish would happen later, when you're ready.
Today morning had been poetry, when Tiana held my hand and I had my lips pressed against her forehead. It wasn't poetry because it was profound or exhilarating. It was poetry because it was beautiful in a way only simple things are.
When Xavier's mom didn't come home, that was a moment I want to forget. I want to forget the hurt and resolution, that look of defeat that passed Xavier's face when he knew she wouldn't be home. He knew where she would be. And I couldn't do anything but be there for my friend.
And when my mother called me, that was a moment I had hoped would be put off. I don't think I want to go back but I know at this point it's more pettiness than fear.
When I reach the front porch of the house, I sit on the stairs and run a hand through my hair. I don't know when my life became complicated, but I don't think I can complain. I know I've grown from this. Doesn't mean it isn't fucked up but when was life ever been anything but a mess?
Sighing, I get up and open the door, letting myself in. I walk up the stairs and stop when I hear voices in Amanda's room. I walk slowly towards the door and listen. Maybe I'm eavesdropping but at this point I really can't bear to give a fuck.
"I just... it feels like my parents don't give a shit, ya know? They think having a child is throwing money at her face and leaving. I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the money, but it wouldn't hurt to have them around once in a while," comes Amanda's voice through the door and my eyebrows shoot up. How long has she been feeling like this?
"I know I'm supposed to be happy I have parents and stuff but sometimes... it just feels like all I have are memories. Like, come on, would it hurt to get a little hug once in a while? They're my parents... but they're not. Last year, they weren't even around for my birthday. My birthday. The one fucking day I want them home so badly. Fuck-"
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Her Last WishTeen Fiction
Tiana Collin's life is horrible and she knows this. With an abusive father and a druggie for a mother and with absolutely no friends at school, she didn't think her life meant much. So she decided to end it. But before she ended her life, she wants...