Life Unexpected (The Urie's Daughter Series Book 4)

Sing

Ryleigh
I stood, nervous and impatient as I waited for them to find out. Frank found it first. He looked at me, confused. The others began finding theirs. Here goes nothing! I clapped my hands together, all of their eyes on me. "So, as you can see there's an ultrasound photo there,"I stuttered out. "He or she is due at the end of July,"I said. Frank was instantly wrapping me in a hug. "I get to be an uncle!"he cheered excitedly.

Gerard looked like he wanted to hug me but wasn't sure where we stood since we haven't officially made up. I've stayed in contact with the other guys and I knew he made serious progress and he was working on it. Tears were welling in my eyes at how supportive they were of this even if it was unplanned.

*******

I stood outside. I loved having them over but there wasn't enough room. I wanted to breathe in the cooler air as I hugged my body. The sliding door opened and Gee joined me. I stayed silent a few moments, waiting to see what he had to say. "I'm really sorry, you know? I was a complete asshole. I understand if you don't want to forgive me but I wish you would,"he said, looking at me. I met his gaze. "I forgive you. I was just so angry that you were screwing up your life. But I guess I'm not much better,"I replied, looking back over our pool.

"Ryleigh, look at me,"he said and I looked over at him. "You aren't a screw up and you haven't screwed up your life. None of us are angry. Hell, you're handling this better than anyone else could have. You're growing a life inside of you,"he said, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back. I missed Gee. He was right. I did handle this pretty well. I loved the baby inside of me. But I also wanted to die. The guilt was weighing down on me. That voice in my head always told me I wasn't good enough.

"What do I do?"I whispered. "What feels right,"he said. I decided then that Zack didn't need to know. It was better that way. If word got out, his career would probably be over and he definitely doesn't have time for me or a baby. The band is just getting started, I can't do this to them. "We can't tell him,"I mumbled. Gerard cocked his head at me in confusion. "Zack. He's the father and he can't know,"I said quietly. Gerard didn't say anything just silently nodded. It was my choice, after all. Maybe it wasn't the right one but I couldn't do it.

I was good at secrets. I was good at running away. I grew up that way and I didn't see it changing. It was justified. His life has already started. It was better off that way. They're gonna get bigger and sell out arenas. I can't be the reason they don't. I took a seat in the chair. "You good?"Gee asked. I nodded and rubbed my tiny tummy. "I'm just gonna chill here a bit,"I said. He nodded and went inside. My phone started ringing. In my hand I still held a photo of my baby. My eyes still got teary eyed at the joy it brought me.

"Hey,"Alex's voice crackled through the phone before his face appeared. "Merry Christmas!"I said. "You too! Are you okay? You seem off,"Alex said. "Yeah I'm great! Actually, between you and me, meaning no one else knows?"I said and raised an eyebrow. "I won't tell a soul. What's going on?"he asked. I held the photo up. "Oh,"Alex said, shocked. "Congrats! Who's the lucky guy?"he asked. "That doesn't matter. He or she will be here around July,"I said. He frowned momentarily. "What's up there?"I asked, curious to the background noise I was hearing. "Christmas party,"he said, holding up his beer.

We were silent for a few minutes which was strange. That wasn't like Alex and I. I wanted to tell him but he can't know Zack is the father. "Well, I'll let you get to it. Everyone else is inside,"I said. "Merry Christmas. I'll talk to you soon,"Alex said. "Talk to you soon,"I said. I stared at the black screen. I should reply to Zack but I can't face that pain again. It was probably just a one night stand. I sighed and stood up, walking inside. The rest of the night passed quickly.

*******

The funeral was three days after Christmas. I stood upstairs, staring at myself in the mirror. Dark circles lined my eyes, I haven't been sleeping well. Guilt ate me up inside. I felt even worse for his parents. I wore a knee length black dress with long sleeves. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go but if I didn't I would regret it even more.

It was so hard to believe he was actually gone. My phone buzzed, pulling me from my thoughts. Dad was coming, so was Tyler and Josh. My friends would be there also. Mom had to stay with Maddie. Jenna would come by to help her. Debby had to be on set today. Zack kept texting me but I didn't have the guts to respond once.

Zack Merrick: Hey, I heard about your friend. I'm so sorry and I hope you're doing okay.

I sighed and my fingers hovered over the keyboard.

Ryleigh Urie: I'm fine, it's okay. I need some space, to think and breathe.....

Zack Merrick: Oh....okay then. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone then, just text me sometime when you figure things out.

His reply was almost instant and I finally allowed myself to cry for everything I lost. I lost the man I never stopped loving, who is the father of the small human growing inside of me. I took my vitamins and let my tears fall. Adam was gone and I had pushed everyone out. I was finally, truly, utterly alone. I wasn't going to be able to fix this. I wiped my cheeks, straightened out my dress, put my glasses on, and walked downstairs.