42 // jimin

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Really long chapter/kinda emotional?/cringe smut (I'll put warnings for those that wanna skip)


"I'm so nervous," I squeal, bouncing on my heels.

"You can always tell him no," Tae says with a look of disgust.

"Tae, stop looking at me like that every time I mention Yoongi," I say sadly. "It wasn't his fault."

"What do you mean?!" He yells. "It was completely his fault!"

I sigh and go to wrap him in a hug. "What happened happened. Nobody can change that."

"You said he came home drunk and tried to have sex with you! How the fuck is that ok?!"

A couple heads in the cafe turn out way as I try to shush Taehyung. He really doesn't like Yoongi. I haven't even told him we're planning on moving in together yet. He wouldn't approve of it.

Tae's right though. It wasn't ok. But I understand why he did it. It wasn't his intention to hurt me. It never was. I know that now.

"Taehyung," I say. "Please just trust me. Yoongi makes me so so happy. I'm ok, I promise. He isn't trying to hurt me."

He groans, clearly torn. "If he makes you happy.. then I guess it's ok."

"Thank you!" I grin, squeezing him tighter.

"Yeah whatever," he rolls his eyes. 

"So how's it been with Hobi," I say poking him playfully.

The pissed off expression goes away immediately at the mention of his boyfriends name.

"We kissed," he says giddily. "It was amazinggg. He's so perfect, I can't get enough."

"Awe Tae," I coo. "I'm so happy for you."

"I still don't know what my sexuality is though," he says, suddenly deflated. "It makes me kind of anxious about being with him and then realizing I don't actually get turned on by men y'know?"

"Just watch some gay porn and see if you like it," I laugh.

"That doesn't help. Porn is porn, doesn't matter what type. It all turns me on," he argues.

"What ever you say Tae," I laugh, getting back to my job of taking orders.

After my shift at the cafe, I have 2 dance classes to teach and then I get to go home. I'm all anxious thinking about what going to be waiting for me when I get there. Yoongi said he'll make sure it's perfect. What does that mean? I mean he's a romance writer. And he knows I'm a hopeless romantic. I immediately think of silk sheets covered in roses, like in one of Yoongi's books. I put my focus on the dishes before my fantasies get out of hand. 

I'm so jittery, my hands are actually shaking. If I'm honest, as excited as I am, I'm still scared. What if he won't want me anymore afterwards. I'm probably nowhere near as attractive as other people he's slept with. I mean, look at Jungkook. My body is horrible compared to his. My face isn't anywhere near as attractive. 

"Tae?" I call out to my best friend, staring to have doubts about this whole idea.

"Yeah?" He says coming back to make more orders of coffee.

"I'm more attractive now right? He won't be disgusted by me right?" I ask with a shaky voice.

"Jiminie, never say that again," he says sternly. "You are fucking beautiful and I bet Yoongi is panicking right now over the fact that he gets to fuck you."

"Tae be quiet," I whine, turning red as an old couple sitting nearby to the kitchen look at me awkwardly.

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