I Want It, I Got It

Chapter 8

Work returned to normal within just a few days and it was like nothing had ever happened at the BBC. Phil wouldn't ever hear the whispers anymore from the people who were once so infatuated with the idea of big stars like Mimei Lake and Dan being in the same building.

And although the filming had played such a massive role in the BBC the last few days, it was almost like it never happened. But of course, it had to have happened. Because if it hadn't, Phil wouldn't currently be on Skype with Dan Howell who is currently 8 hours behind him in Los Angeles.

Phil almost didn't agree to the Skype call when Dan asked for his Skype name. Mostly because Phil was extremely nervous to be seeing Dan again face to face after their day in London that didn't go as planned. But Dan was pretty adamant that he'd like to speak with Phil in a way that wasn't over text and Phil decided to comply.

"I feel like there is a lot I need to explain."

Those were the first words out of Dan's mouth as the grainy laptop camera focused on Dan's face. "You really don't need to explain anything."

Dan looked down at his lap and let out a sigh. "But I also have to because I feel like it's not fair to you that you didn't get to show me around London like we planned because my anxiety got in the way."

"It's not your fault."

"But it feels like it is."

"Dan." It was the first time that Phil had really used Dan's name directly to him and it felt a bit odd. "You never have to apologize for the way something bothers you. If that situation was making you uncomfortable, you had every right to want to go back to your hotel and be alone."

Dan let out another sigh. "This life isn't what it's cracked up to be."

Phil felt the sadness coming from Dan through the screen.

"When I was young, I dreamt about these days of my life where I could sit back in my Hollywood hills mansion and look at my awards and think 'damn, I fucking did it.' But now that this is my life, it's so much more than I've ever thought it to be."

There is a stall in Dan's words and Phil can see that he's trying to think over what to say next in his head. "I'm not saying that this isn't the life I want―it's just that maybe this life isn't for me? I mean for God's sake, I couldn't even handle it when a few fans found out I was on the London Eye."

"They shouldn't have followed you." Phil said, finding his gaze staring directly act the brown eyed male's. "That's a breach of your privacy."

"They don't care about that." There was a sharp pang in Dan's words. "Most of them do in fact care about my privacy but others are looking for a peak into my life when they don't need one."

"Kind of like how a bunch of them tried to figure out who I was?"

Dan nodded and smirked. "To be fair, they did a good job. But I'm not too fond of them all assuming that you're my new boyfriend. Like granted, theres nothing wrong with that, but not every person I'm seen with I'm dating."

"Isn't that how it always works though?" Phil asked, genuinely curious. "I mean look at Ariana Grande or really any celebrity out there."

"Well, of course. But that doesn't mean I can't be annoyed when it happens to me."

Phil shrugged. "Fair enough. It's been odd to see people try and write up a story about me and I'm not even a known person. I'm just Phil from the BBC."

Dan flashed a smile at him and cocked his head to the side. "Just Phil from the BBC?"

Phil laughed. "Does sound kind of lame, doesn't it?"