Fix My Corrupted Heart (Sequel to CTGG) #WATTYS2019

Chapter 22: Defeated

*****THERE IS A WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER, IT MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT*****

Chapter 22: Defeated

It's been a couple days since I've spoken with Ace. As soon as I woke the next morning, I put my clothes on and left. Now that brings me to the all too familiar room, my foot tapped anxiously as I waited in the waiting room.

"Layne." My eyes traveled to meet her soft ones and I stood with a small smile as she greeted me then walked towards her office. Once I was in behind her she shut the door and I took the seat on the leather sofa, her opposite me.

"I slept with him." She was barely sitting when I started to speak. She glanced up from under her glasses and slid them back up her nose, a habit I've noticed she seems to do a lot.

"I presume we're speaking of Ace?" I nodded as I tugged my hair in frustration and she folded her hands, almost like she was trained to. "I don't know how it happened. We kissed and then I came over for dinner to talk about things and then the next thing I know, I'm naked!" She chuckled lightly before adjusting her notebook on her lap.

"Is that the only reason why you went there?" I was taken aback and my face showed it for, my eyebrows had a tight crease, my lips pressed tightly together, teeth lightly gritted. "What? No!" Her eyes peered up through her glasses and she shifted.

"Do you think hanging around, Ace, is good for you?" Her question made me become defensive. "I don't know, but he's not a bad person." She scribbled on her notebook and my hands were oddly clammy. Ace wasn't a bad guy. He just made bad decisions sometimes.

"Do you think being with, Ace, while recovering is good for you?" My teeth clenched and my hands balled. "Ace isn't a bad person." She set her notebook down and scrutinized me with that look therapists seem to always give.

"Maybe, but for right now, maybe, Ace, isn't good for you. Recovery is hard, going down the same path will lead you right back to where you were." My teeth started to grind lightly and I stood.

"I am fine!" Her eyes followed me and her glance was sympathetic. She moved her glasses to on top of her head.

"Layne, I'm sorry if I offended you, however, I am concerned about you hanging out with, Ace. When you first came to me, you were a mess- no offense. You were a struggling addict." I sighed and sat back down on the seat. "Times change, I'm doing better, a lot better." Her legs crossed back over one another and I took a deep breath, releasing it into a sigh.

"How long have you been using again?" My mouth opened lightly and my hands clamped up she shook her head, "I can see it, Layne. I'm a licensed psychiatrist. You've been scratching since you got here, kind of aloof as well. I see it, Layne." Her voice was soft and now did I only realize that my arm was itching. I didn't scratch though.

"Not long," I sighed "I can't seem to help it, my body needs it and I'm trying, I really am, I don't take them everyday, it's just sometimes." She nodded as she scribbled something on a paper. "Go to these meetings, maybe talking about it will help, if not next thing would be rehab." 

I stood and grabbed the extended paper from her fingers. "I'll see you on Friday." I nodded and walked out, paper in hand. Once I got to my car, I unlocked it and climbed in. Staring at the paper, I read over the address carefully. With one last glance, I crumbled it into a ball and threw it in my backseat. 

I don't need help. Please. I'm doing fine, there's no problem here. My phone ringing brought me back and I ignored it, reversing out and to my house. Parking my car, I exited and entered my house and greeted Charlie. 

"Hey, bug." He barked at me and ran around in circles around my legs. I chuckled and let him outside to go potty and play. Walking up to my room, I decided to change my clothes. Stripping down, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Fat.