Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

LXXI

This thing called love, I just can't handle it
This thing called love, I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
~ Queen, Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Erik's POV

When the five of us started this band in the garage of my aunt's house after we had moved out of the tiny two bedroom apartment in my teen years, I don't think anyone of us dreamt our lives would turn out the way they have.

Of course, we wanted to make it big and be like the legends such as Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Rolling Stones and many others that we all had grown up listening to.

To us, Fallen Angels was an outlet from our fucked up lives, a way for us to express our feelings and to forget about who we were. A time for us to become someone new for the short time we jammed in the unheated garage with the Chicago winds blowing through the slight crack under the door.

I figured once graduation hit, that was it. I would end up going into the workforce after barely passing my final year, but here we are preparing to tour on Warped Tour for the summer. We'll be doing our first legit tour that will be in held in stadiums and concert halls, rather than in the dive bars we did in America on our amateur tour.

When we had first signed our deal when we moved out to LA we thought we had made it big and we would be playing sold out shows in no time, but we weren't in the era of rock and roll anymore, not even the era of punk rock. We were in the era of pop and rap music, no one wanted to listen to us anymore.

It took us years of busting our asses to make it here. Blood, sweat, and tears to form the image we are now.

Not to mention Avril, my Ray.

She was the first person to really work to get our image out there, not even Olivia could do what Avril managed to do in the short time she was with us. She got us the contract with Warped Tour and manage to grow our social media so that our music was hitting people in Australia.

We had only managed the US and most people only came to see us because it was live music at the bar.

Now people knew who we were and were actually looking forward to seeing us.

I continue to run my fingers up and down Avril's bare arm as she snores softly against my chest, her lips parted slightly. Her curls have grown out from the shoulder length she had chopped them to when she first arrived in LA and now fall down her back.

We are lucky that Kyle's buddy knew Avril was looking for an out when we were in Boston, if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be where we are now. I think we forget how lucky we really are that Avril walked into that bar that day and Olivia knew who she was right away.

Without her, everything we've accomplished wouldn't have been possible.

Me Against The Devil would have never been made, not to mention Angels Fall which she helped me write.

That song Scarlett released with Avril wouldn't be a thing and people wouldn't be begging for more of her music.

I stare at her sleeping face and the talent that is flowing through her brain, her beauty lies within that mind of hers. Of course, she is beautiful, but real beauty lies within her, the way she cares for others and tries to be there for everyone, even when they don't deserve it.

She saw so many reasons to leave me and I gave her so many, but yet she stayed. She wanted to help me, she forgave for me the hell I put her through and never complained about me.

If I was a fallen angel, she was God's favourite, the one that was pure, the one I would taint.

I reach over to the bedside table and pull the drawer open slowly, careful not to wake Avril as she stirs slightly at my movement. I pause and look at to see, she's still sleeping.

Good.

I pull the letter envelope from the stand and open it with the best of my ability, only using my one hand as I continue to stroke her arm.

The piece of metal slides out of the envelope into the palm of my hand, barely able to make the ring my step-mother had my uncle send me.

I guess my father had ended up getting married and once my step-mother had found out about me she had been begging my uncle to get us in contact. I finally allowed him to do so last week when I had been talking to him. He must have thought I was thinking of proposing to Avril and had told my step-mother.

I had yet to call her and thank her for the ring which I didn't know I wanted till I opened the envelope to see the ring, along with a letter talking about how she wishes for us to meet and introduce me to my half-siblings.

I haven't even told Avril that I loved her yet, and here I am with this ring made of gold that my great grandfather gave my great grandmother, ready to give it to her at any moment, but still scared shitless to say I love her.

I thought the day I signed the contract with the record label would be the best day of my life, I finally had gotten what I wanted and would be living the life of a rockstar, but having Avril in my arms and a ring in the palm of my hand, I feel today is the best and the scariest day of my life.

The feelings I have for her are clear.

Yet I still fear to take this relationship further, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, my whole body told me to run. I thought I was making the worst mistake of my life and that whatever we were was doomed.

I tried to get away from her and isolate myself from her, I listened to my fears.

Or what I thought were my fears; my real fear is not calling Avril mine. Not being able to show her off, take her on spontaneous adventures to the beach or her favourite bookstore.

Not taking her to a new coffee shop every time her caffeine addiction kicks in.

I knew I needed to be ready to fully commit to her, and those weeks apart showed me that I am ready to commit to her and this ring my step-mother gave me is what I needed to show Ray that I am done messing around.

"What are you doing up?" I quickly slide the ring back in the envelope at the sound of Avril's voice. Her green eyes stare up at me from my chest as she lets out a yawn.

"How did you know I was up?" I question as I tuck a loose strand behind her ear.

"I just woke up and saw you were awake, can you not sleep?"

"No, I'm just excited. We leave for Warped in two days and none of this would have been possible if it wasn't for you." I kiss her nose before pulling the blankets over her shoulder, "get some sleep, you have that important meeting about your book today."

"Okay," she mumbles before snuggling back into my chest, "goodnight Freddie."

How could I have been scared of committing myself to her?

Relationships used to scare the fuck out of me, I saw what love did to my parents and I promised myself at a young age that I would never allow myself to turn out like my parents.

But with Avril, it's different. I would gladly lay my heart down and allow her to break it over and over again if it meant that I got to have her for one more day.

She was worth all the uncertainty of love.

Maybe I will get lucky like my dad's brother did and get to spend the rest of my life with Ray.

I place the envelope back into the drawer and pull Ray into my chest, leaving a kiss on the top of her head.

As I stare out the window past her sleeping outline, I think about all the experiences and journeys Ray and I will have together.

No more rockstar lifestyle.

And I am okay with that because that means Ray and I will be together.

Something that gives me more adrenaline than performing.

I am ready for this crazy little thing called love.

Edited by GirlReader133