Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

XLIX

Nights at the chateau
Trapped in your sunset bungalow
You couldn't escape it, yeah
Drink of paradise
~ Panic! at the Disco,  Dying In LA

Erik's POV

I sit on the edge of the bed with a cigarette in hand as I try not to think about the mistakes I've made in the last 72 hours.

By now she is on the other side of the world while I'm in another's bed.

I know I should have stayed and waited to wake up, done all of the cutesy stuff couples do, but I panicked.

Seeing her sleeping there peacefully with her short curls falling into her face as her shoulders raised and lowered ever so slightly. The way the sheet covered her, but her body was already burned into my mind.

How she looked like an untainted angel.

Something I would destroy, someone that would let me strip her of her beautiful white wings.

I take another long drag of my cigarette, letting the smoke fill my lungs and suffocate me.

I let the smoke escape my lungs as the burn becomes too much, but even then the burn doesn't amount to the pain that I've caused Avril.

The ray in my life, the one good thing that has been constant and reliable.

Willing to be bold and try new things when all her life she was told to suppress herself.

God, I hope she is okay.

The best thing for her to do is forget me.

I can hear movement behind me and feel cold hands wrap around me, resting on the exposed skin of my chest.

"Erik, what are you doing up?" Her voice is full of sleep and familiarity.

"Can't sleep Ava, you know that," I mumble as she nuzzles her head in my neck, planting kisses there.

Leaving her mark, saying that I'm hers.

She knows I never will be yet she tries.

"But you know me." Her voice is pleading, all she has ever wanted was me but all she has ever gotten was my body.

She wasn't Ray and maybe that is a good thing.

"Ava, stop. You know how this works." I shrug her off of me and move towards her bedroom window that looks at the city of LA, the city where people want to end up, but never do.

Much like Ava, who came from Georgia looking to be the next big thing in the entertainment industry, but the only part she has landed is working as a waitress at a rundown 50s theme dinner.

She still lives in the same run-down apartment with the same shit mattress pressed against the wall.

Ava and I met five years ago at a club close to downtown, she knew who the band was and was a big fan of us.

She seemed innocent with her big green eyes and blonde hair, maybe it was the accent that made me think she was innocent or maybe it was the yellow dress she had on.

She looked out of the ordinary in a room full of wannabe models and singers.

She had the sweetest smile on her face as she approached us asking us about our music.

That night was the last night I saw that smile.

It didn't take long for the city light to disappear from her eyes and be replaced by the dark shadows.

Ava changed within months after our first interaction, but I didn't care, she was just a quick fuck when I needed it.

We used each other; her for her body and me for the fame of the band.

She has been around for every dark place in my adult life.

"Erik, I want more. You gave that random bitch more than you ever gave me; I saw the posts on social media, the photos taken at your concert, fuck she was even in that dumb music video you made! I've loved you last five years and have gotten shit in return." I roll my eyes at Ava, but she can't see me and I can't see her.

Even her apartment is dark, full of secrets and demons out to play at all hours.

"This means nothing to me," I answer coldly as I always do.

"Then why haven't you left in three days?" I stay quiet, not wanting to play her stupid games again.

"Answer me, Erik! You owe me that!" I turn to look at her.

Ava is sitting on the bed without a blanket to cover her body, something I would have found attractive before Avril.

"Put some clothes on, someone might think you're a prostitute, especially with that new tattoo. Really Ava? Boner garage, could you be any more desperate?"

"Get out!" Ava yells at me as she throws the closest thing at me; a pillow.

"Gladly."

As I leave the bedroom I can hear Ava yell, "good thing she left, best decision she's ever made."

The rain pelts me in the head as I head towards my car parked on the road.

The car ride back to the house is quick and filled with silence; even the city isn't alive tonight.

I feel numb as I head inside to see Lucas passed out on the couch with some random guy.

The kitchen light is still on as I pass by to go to my room.

"Erik?" I hear Kyle call out.

"What?" I head into the kitchen to see him eating leftover pizza.

"Where have you been?" Kyle sets down the pizza and waits for me to answer, "please tell me you weren't with Ava for the past three days? Of course, you were, you smell like cheap booze and drugs."

I can feel the dread seep into my body.

"I needed to get away," I mumble.

"Because you left Avril in a hotel room by herself after you two had sex? I heard about it in between her sobs, whatever you think you are doing, stop. You're not going to wreck her if that's what you think."

"And how do you know that?"

"Erik, she's already broken. Her parents made sure of that. You two have more in common than you think. Your parents physically left you, but hers left her mentally. I truly think she is the one good thing that has walked into your life in a long time and I get that you want her to find out she is before anything happens, but hurting her? You aren't doing anyone a favour by doing that, you better hope the next time you see her she forgives you or you my friend, will hate yourself more than you already do." Kyle pats me on the back as he walks away with his plate of pizza.

I rest my head in my hands as I hear Kyle's words play through my mind.

What if he is right?

What if Avril is the person I need?

All my life I've been surrounded by people like Ava, who are toxic and have radiated into my very bones.

I look up to see a notebook and pen sitting on the counter beside the fridge. I move towards the notebook to see the pages are empty - much like me.

I take the pen in hand and start to write whatever comes to mind, not stopping as the sun starts to rise or the sound of the shower echoes off the walls.

"What are you doing?" Lucas questions as he sits down beside me at the island.

"Writing."

"Can I read?" I hand the notebook over, waiting for Lucas's reply.

"This is good, like really good." I smile at Lucas as he starts to add different chords to the music.

"What are we doing?" Kyle asks as he comes into the kitchen.

"Look at this stuff." Lucas hands the notebook over to Kyle who shifts through the music.

"Are we releasing an album?"

"We may be."

Edited by GirlReader133

Shoutout to @beebo1403 for the song suggestion