Instagram - L.S ✔

80 (part one)

HErE We gO, geT ReaDy foR a RidE oF eMotioNs mY gUys.

Lol sorry there's so much dialogue oops

(Oh and I forgot to say at the beginning of the story that Harry is only 1 year younger than Louis, so he's 23 while Louis is 24)

Edit 09.05.2020 - chapter 80 (both parts) contain self harm and can be triggering  to some people reading this.
I'm very sorry I didn't add a [trigger warning] earlier.
Stay safe everyone <3
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"So what did you want to talk about?" Louis asks Harry as he places his fork, and knife down on his now empty plate.

"The fact that you hung out with Selena without telling me." Harry answeres in a serious tone, looking Louis straight in the eyes.

"I thought you said I can go hang out with her?" The older boy says confused, making his sentence sound more like a question.

"Well, of course you can... I just want you to be safe." Harry replies, still not even close to smiling.

"I won't get hurt, she's just a friend. Is someone jealous?" Louis tries to lighten the mood, but then sees that his boyfriend wasn't phased.

"I but you're hanging out, and talking with her a lot lately." Harry continues, ignoring Louis' question.

"Really Haz? I thought you trusted me." Louis reacts, feeling hurt as he feels that Harry doesn't trust him.

"I do trust you, I just want you to be safe Lou."

"You don't have to be overprotective, I can manage myself."

"Thats the thing Lou, i don't think you can." Harry says worriedly

"Harry, I'm twenty-four years old, I'm older than you, I can manage stuff myself." Louis argues.

"Just because you're older than me doesn't mean you can manage yourself better than I can, that you can take care of yourself better than I can. Because in all honesty, I don't think you are... or will be capable of that for quite a bit." Harry says, raising his voice slightly; making Louis flinch.

"I never said I was better than you, I just said that I think I'm able to take care of myself, and my own problems." Louis says quietly, slowly losing confidence.

"Well I said that you can't take care of yourself. Last time you said you could handle it was two days before you tried to fucking kill yourself!" Harry shouts.

"It's not my fault that my depression is literally taking over my life!"

"But you're seeing Edith now, and it'll slowly get better." Harry softens.

"No Haz, once you have depression, it's never going away. I'm going to have it for the rest of my fucking life, don't you see?" Louis cries. "I'm nothing more than a useless fucking depressed boy that's unwanted and will be forgotten the moment he dies. It's not like I'm actually needed in the world."

"Lou, I understand-" Harry starts, but Louis interrupts.
"No Harry, you don't understand! You don't have depression, and you don't know what it's like to feel the need to cut your skin open to feel pain that you think you deserve. You don't know what it's like to be depressed, because you don't have a reason to be. Hell I don't have a good reason to be depressed, but I still fucking am."

"Lou..."

"No. Don't you fucking 'Lou' me. You don't understand what it's like knowing that your siblings think you're a psycho, because you're sad most of the time, and you lash out the moment anyone asks about it."
"You don't understand what it's like being... me... being unwanted." Louis finishes softly, almost as a whisper.

"I can't do this right now." He says as he gets up from his chair, quickly walking to the bathroom before Harry can stop him.

"Lou! Louis!" Harry knocks on the door, worried out of his mind.
"Lou, please answer me." He says, now softer than at first.

It stays quiet for about two minutes. Two long-ass minutes that consisted of Harry contemplating if he should knock the door down, and worrying about what his boyfriend might be doing in there.
Two minutes before he hears Louis' soft cries.

"Louis, babe. Can you please unlock the door for me?" Harry tries again.

"No, I-I don't want you to s-see me like this." Louis chokes.

"Please love, I want you to be okay."

"I'm never going to be okay! Just leave me alone!" Louis shouts before breaking down into tears, letting himself slide down against the wall. Onto the hard tiled floor, now filled with drops of his blood.

"Fucking useless, that's what you are. Louis Tomlinson you are not, and will never be a good person. You will never be normal." He says to himself, as he drags his blade over his arm another time, and another, and another.

"Louis I'm coming in." Harry demands.

"N-no! You c-can't!" Louis shouts through tears.
But it was too late, Harry had already unlocked the door somehow, probably with a fork or butterknife from the kitchen.

The younger of the pair walked into the bathroom to find a crying, no- sobbing Louis with his head in his knees, bloody arms wrapped around them.

"Oh Lou." Harry whispers.

"I'm sorry I'm such a f-fuck up. Sorry y-you have to go through this H-Haz, It was n-never meant to go this way. I p-promise." Louis stutters, looking at the damage he'd done to his arms.

It wasn't a pretty sight to see. He had around fifty new cuts, around twenty-five on each arm. Blood dripping slowly down them.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." Harry suggests, already heading for the medicine cabinet to grab the bandages, and some other needed objects to clean up his boyfriend.

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"Lou, you have to sleep. You're exhausted, and you look so pale." Harry says as he places the older of the two in bed gently.

Louis nods and slowly starts falling asleep.
"Can you cuddle with me please?" He asks Harry, who obviously doesn't hesitate to say yes.

When they're both in bed, Harry's soft, and calm breathing sooths Louis, sending him into and almost instant sleep.

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[Call between Harry, and Liam]

Harry: "Liam? This is Harry."

Liam: "hm? What's up Haz?"

Harry: "Can you come over, I need you to help me take care of Lou."

Liam: "take care of Lou?" (Worried) "Did something happen? Is he alright?"

Harry: (thinks for a moment) " no... he's not okay. I just need you here, because I know you're closest to him other than Niall, and he isn't available."

Liam: (concerned) "do you want me to come over now?"

Harry: "yeah I think it's best you come now, you don't have to though." (Softer) " But it would be good if you came now."

Liam: " No worries Haz, I'll be over in fifteen... what's Lou doing now then?"

Harry: " I helped him get to sleep, he's been sleeping for about ten minutes. I was going to go check up on him in a moment."

Liam: "okay, that's good. I'll be there in a couple."

Harry: "Bye Li, see you soon."

Liam: "see you soon Haz."

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A/N

hi! So I decided to make this a two-parter, because it would definitely be too long for one chapter.
I hope you all don't mind, and we'll be back to the Instagram format soon, as this is mostly supposed to be that anyway :)

Have a nice day!!