995 26 12

Yeet i enjoyed writing the previous chapters that were like this so im doing it again, bear with me.

I feel shit shit shit shit shitttt :}


"Haz, it's starting again." I mumble, not meaning for Harry to hear it in all honesty.

"What's starting again?" Harry questioned me, turning his head sideways a bit.

"The hate." I stammer as I turn off the phone that's in my hands.

Harry and I are laying on the settee, he's reading Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire, I'm reading people's tweets complaining about me.

"Jesus, can Louis ever just leave?"

"He's just using harry for fame."

"Who is he even? Not a model, not a singer. A nobody."

"I heard that Louis attempted suicide. Should try a second time, follow your dreams right?" All. Day. Long.

"Lou, I told you not to read them. Edith thinks you should even delete your social media's for a while." Harry points out. He's right as well, my therapist; Edith, reckons that I should delete the most toxic social media that I have off my phone since it's not doing any good for me.

"Harry I really just want it all to end, just for all the hate to stop. For everyone, and everything to just go back to how they or it were or was. Yes I'm happy that my crush is now my boyfriend, and that I've gotten a couple of good friends, but that's the only thing I've gotten out of this. If this had never happened-" I gesture my hands, showing that I mean Harry, and I. "- my mum might be alive, and I would have cut myself sooner or later anyway so what does it matter when I die. I would have died then, or now. It's not like anyone would have cared." I stutter out before starting to cry.

"I just want this all to be done with, everything to be gone. No one will remember me when I'm gone, especially not you since you lead such a cool, and exciting life. Yeah you'll probably be sad for a month or so, but then you'll get over it. And when someone says 'Louis', you'll probably think 'oo yeah I recognise that name, but I don't know where from." I finish off, tears rolling down my cheeks, and falling onto my bare arms, making my most recent cuts sting.

"I really want to do my best to get better, but I don't even know who I'm doing it for to be honest." I sniffle again

"You're doing it for yourself, and if you're not doing it for yourself do it for me." Harry caresses my hand, being careful not to touch my scar-littered wrists.

Then we fall into a comfortable silence for a moment again.

"How about we go cuddle in bed?" Harry suggests after ten minutes of him running his hand through my hair, holding my hand, and loving me.

I nod, but being too tired to get up, I lay my head back in Harry's chest.

"Come on Lou." Harry urges me to get up, but all I let out is a grunt. So he just gives up, and picks me up; taking me to our bedroom.

Harry carefully places me on the queen-sized bed, and then joins me as well.
I snuggle my face into the crook of his neck, and give him small kisses, small enough not to leave a mark, but big enough to show him how much I love him.

"Lou I love you so much, don't ever think otherwise." Harry whispers, grabbing my chin and kissing my lips softly. When he pulled away he smiles Softly, and we resume our previous cuddling positions.


Eek okay so I wanted to make this chapter contain fluff but I was uninspired so I literally just wrote down what I did on Friday with my boyfren (:33) (don't judge me I just really like him okay.)

I feel shitty but like I got kissed on Friday by a guy I've liked for months now that just happens to be my boyfriend and that thought makes me v happy.
And yes before you lot start assuming my gender yEz iM a BoY doN'T juDGe.
Ok bye losers

Instagram - L.S ✔Read this story for FREE!