Sorry this took so long, It's been a confusing couple of weeks for me. And I won't be able to see my boyfriend or best friend for two weeks because we're going to London with school for a week each, but we just so happen to go a week apart which is shitty but yeah.
Had some cuddles, had some laughs, watched the bee movie, what's not to love about my boO?
Harry: " I helped him get to sleep, he's been sleeping for about ten minutes. I was going to go check up on him in a moment."
Liam: "okay, that's good. I'll be there in a couple."
Harry: "Bye Li, see you soon."
Harry sits on the small stool next to the bed he shares with Louis, carefully stroking the older boy's hand.
"Mmm... No. Let me go." Louis mumbles in his sleep, turning his head sideways, and back.
"No! No! Go away!" He starts breathing faster, heavier.
He's having a nightmare.
____ Louis' nightmare ____
They're all out to get me. Every corner I take I see the people that hate me, they have no faces, it's just a block of colour.
They're screaming at me.
"Go away, nobody needs you!"
"Your attempt didn't work, go try again!"
"Kill yourself Louis!"
"You'll never get better!"
The people with no faces start walking after me, pacing quickly on the ground.
Every time their feet hit the ground it sounds like thunder hitting the ground.
I hate thunder.
Their speed increases rapidly, now we're running.
One of them grabs my wrist. "No... Let me go!" i scream.
I manage to break free of the grip, but more, and more people keep joining the already massive crowd. "No! No! Go away!" I repeat, running for my life.
The crowd chase me to the edge of a cliff. "No! I don't want to! Give me one more chance, please." i plead the people, but they don't listen. Instead they start surrounding me and making me back up right to the edge of the cliff. And right before I can feel myself falling I can see one of the people walk up to the middle saying "You won't be missed, Tomlinson."
Then it all went black.
"It's okay Lou, I'm here. Breathe." Louis wakes up to the soothing sound of Harry's voice.
His cheeks are red, and raw from the tears caused by his nightmare. His brain racing, and his breath hitching.
"H-Haz, it seemed so real... too real." Louis cries putting his head in his hands.
"I know, love. It'll be okay, I promise. You'll get through this." Harry reassures.
"I don't know if I will Haz, I really don't. I mean look at me, I'm a mess." Louis states, his voice still raw, and emotional.
"You will Lou, it's okay." Harry repeats, carefully taking and stroking his boyfriend's hand.
Around five minutes of silence pass between the two before they hear the doorbell go off.
"Who's that?" Louis asks trying to get up with his arms, but wincing because of the soreness.
"You'll see Lou. Stay here for a moment, I'll open the door." Harry says getting up and placing a soft kiss on Louis' lips.
Not two minutes later does Harry come back into the bedroom with Liam beside him.
"Now Lou, before you start freaking out. I texted Liam to come, because you were definitely not okay, and I needed to have someone else who you're close to over here to take care of you as well." Harry explains softly.
"I'll leave you two to talk for a bit. I'll be in the kitchen in you need me." He ends, sending Liam a look that would say something like 'take good care of him', and Louis a look that says 'It'll be alright'. And then he left.
Louis looks up at his best friend, tears starting to gather in his eyes out of shame. Liam quickly realised though, and softly says. "Oh Lou... I'm so sorry."
Louis looks at Liam, utterly confused. "Why sorry? I'm the one who did this. I'm the one who made everyone sad. Can't blame yourself for any of this." He stutters out, managing to keep his tears in his eyes. "God I'm so fucked up aren't I?" He mumbles to himself as he puts his head in his hands again, but again winces at the pain it causes him.
Liam approaches his best friend, and sits on the stool where Harry was just sitting, carefully taking Louis' bandaged arm into his hands to inspect it. "Why...?" He asks quietly.
"Harry, and I had a fight about that I can't take care of myself. Or at least that's what he thinks, I didn't think so, but I mean... look at me now!" Louis snorts in a sarcastic manner, holding up his free arm.
"Lou, I think you're very capable of taking care of yourself. I just think you need some guidance... some advice on how to maybe. You need someone to really be able to let everything out, to get some air."
"Yeah, I have a therapist. But I still do this. Edith is really nice, and she respects that if I don't want to talk about something that we'll try the next time, which is every two days." Louis argues. "It's the fact that I don't feel as if it's helping. I used to have a therapist back in Doncaster where I'm from, obviously. I've had depressive episodes since I was 15, but they stopped around me being 19. Yes, I used to hurt myself, not like this though. They were just some light cuts, more scratches I guess you could say."
"But why do you think you depression came back? You're 24 now, so why do you think it came back after you being clean of cutting, and you not having depression for 5 years." Liam questions.
"I genuinely have no idea Li. I mean yeah I sometimes would get sad, but not more than the average person. If I was ever sad or even thought about cutting, or just hurting myself in any way, I would call my mum... but now she's not here." Louis thinks of an explanation, his voice becoming softer on the last sentence at mention of his mother.
"I know you really loved your mum Lou, and I know how much she helped you with everything. I know you aren't really on speaking terms with your siblings for reasons unknown to me. Who knows maybe they really miss you, but you can't see that.
It'll eventually all look up Lou. I promise it will." Liam reassures his friend.
"Thanks Li. What would I do without you?" Louis asks rhetorically.
"No idea, but you love me so that's good." Liam beams, but still being slightly careful of what he says, because he doesn't want his friend to be hurt even more.
"That I do Payne. That I do."
YOU ARE READING
Instagram - L.S ✔Fanfiction
In which Louis starts as a fanboy, and Harry is a famous popstar It's bad at the beginning, but it gets better quickly so don't leave yettt :} *TRIGGER WARNING* Cutting, depression, suicide, death __________ Cover by @Lxneboylou (me!) __________ ©...