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Photo #28

16 August 2018

"Where are you dragging me to?" I wailed.

"Will you shush and just follow me?" scolded Nayeon.

"I can walk myself," I pried her hand away from my arm.

We slowed to a halt by the hospital's main entrance before Nayeon released me. Once I was freed, I collapsed onto the nearest bench to catch my breath.

"You're such a child, sometimes," Nayeon clicked her tongue, watching my tired figure from a few feet away. Her hands on her hips.

"Call me whatever. I don't care," I waved off her comment, closing my eyes.

She let out a sigh and brought herself nearer to where I was sitting. She slapped my shoulder gently to nudge me.

"Want to go grab dinner?" she asked.

"Oh wow," I opened my eyes and chuckled darkly, "Look at us. Doing friendly things and stuffs."

Although I didn't hate Nayeon anymore like I used to, she wasn't the most likable person in my list of favorite people. We made a grave mistake. We could never erased the past. Ironically, we felt bound together in order to make things right. Nayeon often helped me to see rationale of things when I was struggling emotionally. In a way, she did care about me, out of her rectification towards her best friend, despite the latter didn't know anything. Initially, it was because of her deep rooted crush for me until she realized it was a selfish act.

Only time could wash away our invisible barrier.

"Quit the sarcasm. Do you want dinner or not?" she chided.

"What about Mina? I assume you're here to visit her," my eyebrows raised.

"All thanks to you, I have to delay it before Jeongyeon kicks your ass. Be grateful I happened to meet her on my way upstairs," she threw me a dirty look, "I'll just come back again later."

"She wouldn't beat me up," I let out a scoff and jumped to my feet, "Let's go. I'm starving."

The sun was setting when we exited the hospital and strolled down the street. There were rows of various shops and restaurants nearby, leaving us a variety of choices for dinner. In the end, Nayeon picked a small family-run diner that served simple Korean dishes. It was quiet and cozy. An old woman immediately came to greet us with two menus and a warm smile as soon as we scooted into an empty booth.

"Imo-nim, please give me one doenjjang-jjigae," said Nayeon politely.

"I'll have the same, thanks," I closed the menus and returned them to the elderly waitress.

"Alright, shall I get you two beautiful ladies some soju?" she asked in anticipation.

Nayeon glanced at me. I shook my head.

"Just one bottle for me will do," she beamed at the old woman.

An awkward silence entailed after the old woman went back into the kitchen to place our orders. I needed a moment to myself. So I propped my head in between my hands on my temples, hiding my face away, as I stared at the table top and replayed the conversation I had with Mina in the hospital.

Chaeyoung, I didn't leave you. It's all ourselves. We're driving each other away.

I tried to pull you in but you pushed me away.

And you strayed even further because I didn't pull you closer. 

Push and pull. Can I break this endless cycle?