Ramblings - A Collection of Short Stories

Can't Handle Your Love - Part 1

"Well, if you change your mind, we're right over there," he said, pointing to a table with a couple of guys with girls at their sides. "You're welcome to come and join us throughout the night. I'm Callum, by the way."

Another chuckle passed through my lips. "Again, thanks for the invitation, but I have to do my job. The name is Riley."

He gave me a last nod and a grin before walking away. I shook my head in amusement before cleaning up a little more. As I reached for the knob of the sink faucet, a hand reached over the bar counter and grabbed my forearm. My head snapped up in alarm and I stared at the person wide-eyed.

"Jonathan," I breathed out in slight relief and a hint of fear for what's coming next.

"What was that?" he hissed out. His jaw was somewhat clenched but his hard eyes truly reflected his anger.

My eyes narrowed at his words, challenging him to continue whatever he was initiating.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about," I told him, a hint of truth behind my words. I did know what he was talking about, but I didn't know why he should feel anything towards it.

I pried my arm from his grasp before walking down the bar towards a person who looked like they needed something. Before I could reach the woman, the same hand grabbed my shoulder once again. Glad that the other bartender that I shared a shift with attended the woman before she got displeased, I turned sharply to Jonathan, my eyes blazing with aggravation.

"Can you please let me do my job?" I asked him, my voice heavy with annoyance.

"You didn't answer my question!" he retorted.

My glare was clearly not affecting his fury at all. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my fingers digging into my forehead in annoyance.

"I can't talk to you right now, Jon," I told him honestly, my words coming out monotonously. "If you really need to talk to me and you feel as if you have questions that you really need answers to, my shift..."

He cut me off. "I know what time your shift ends."

I nodded curtly. "Then you know how long you'll have to wait."

"Fine," he snarled.

I watched him walk back to his table, his teammate accompanying him for the night starting blatantly at me.

"Are you okay, Riles?" I heard a voice gently ask from beside me.

I turned to see Jenna, the other bartender for this shift, giving me a sympathetic look. I heaved another deep breath before nodding.

"Yeah, this was bound to happen sooner or later," I replied, still staring at the table where Jonathan now sat, his eyes, once again, following my every move.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I grabbed my purse before signing out and greeting the bartender that would be replacing me for the last shift of the night. I spotted Jon waiting for me at the bar immediately upon walking out of the back room. I sighed before shifting my bag up my shoulder and walking towards him.

"Let's do this outside," I told him as I passed him by. I didn't even stop to wait for his agreement or to see if he would follow. I knew that he'd do both.

Taking a couple of steps out onto the sidewalk, I stopped before turning to face him. My arms crossed over my chest and my weight on one leg, I looked at him and waited for him to speak. The street was mostly quiet seeing as it wasn't one of the main ones in Chicago and it was just past 11'o clock at night.

"Who were you talking to in there tonight? And what exactly was that conversation about?" he asked, his voice holding a hint of spite.

I stared at him incredulously, silently asking him if he really just asked that.

"I have no idea why I'm even answering your question or why this is even any of your business, but that man was named Callum and that conversation was about what drinks he was ordering at the time. Are you happy now? Can I go home?" I replied, annoyed and both tired.

"No," was his answer, hard and blunt.

I laughed cynically. "Why do you do this, Jonathan? Tell me. For once, just explain. We broke up and I gave you a reason. A reason that was real and completely authentic. I thought you understood. I thought that by moving apartments, you'd understand that I couldn't take you randomly showing up at my doorstep with apologies and pleas. Jonathan, there's nothing to be sorry for. There's nothing that you need to make up to me or to make right. Don't you get it? This just needs to happen and we just need to move on," I told him. My voice was gentle and begging for him to understand.

"You don't need to do this to yourself, Jon. You don't need to spend every chance you get at the bar in which I work just so you can keep an eye on me. You shouldn't be awake this late anyway, especially being an athlete. You shouldn't be trying to protect me or keep me yours. You shouldn't be watching my every move or keeping track of everyone I talk to. You should be moving on, it's what I'm trying to do, Jon. But you're making it so hard," I told him honestly.

I watched as he actually listened. He took a step closer and I instantly say the hurt and pain in his eyes.

"If there's nothing I need to apologize for or fix, then why are we like this? We are we apart? Are you seriously telling me that this is all just because of your father? That you seriously ended a relationship that was going as perfect as it could be just please your dad?" he asked, his voice breaking.

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Jonathan, you know it's bigger than that. You know that I did love you and our relationship genuinely made me the happiest I've ever been, but couldn't you see that it was destroying my future? My dad saw what I was too oblivious to notice. I'm not blaming it on you, but you know me. I was never too motivated to even go to college let alone finish it and when I started dating you, the more I fell in love with you, the most I started destroying everything I had built for myself. My dad warned me about it and I wanted to prove him wrong, but I couldn't, Jon. By the end of last school year, my grades were shit. All the internships I had been offered for that summer were all being withdrawn. I was suddenly finding myself in a situation where, if I didn't get it together, I would find myself having wasted years of my life with an unfinished degree. You know all this, Jon. I've explicitly explained all this to you."

"Riley, you need to understand that I loved you so damn much and I still do. I can't accept our relationship being over when it doesn't need to be. I just can't," he whispered out. His hand reached for mine and grasped it tightly. "Why won't you give us another shot?"

I looked up at him, my eyes glossing over.

I took a deep breath before saying, "I can't give us a shot because I can't handle your love right now. If you really feel about me like you say you do, wait until I graduate in May and I promise you that I'll give you my love again."

I leaned up and gave him a kiss before turning my back on him and walking away.