Home is where the heart is

Part 24- Panic!

Ruby's POV

Zoe and I were in the centre of town, just walking in and out of shops. I found out that she was a youtuber too, and she was a bit more popular than Joe subscriber wise. She occasionally vlogged but I didn't want to be in it so I just made sure to stay out the way and she respected that. I didn't want to be in on the whole camera seen; I didn't want my life to be shown all over the world. I liked my privacy and thank god people respected that. If fans came over to see Zoe I just looked at a window display and pretended I wasn't with her. I didn't want people to ask about me. Fans sort of freaked me out with how excited they were to see Zoe; they must really like her.

As Zoe and I were just leaving superdrug, a whole load of fans bombarded towards us-well Zoe. I tried my best to get away to somewhere quiet but there was so much pushing and shoving, fans wanting to get signatures and selfies. It was madness! Complete and utter madness!

As the pushing and shoving continued, I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and the familiar feeling of clammy hands. I knew what was about to happen. I was about to have a panic attack, and somehow I could tell that this one was going to be a bad one. Before I could even think about what I was doing, I found myself running through town, as fast as my legs could carry me. I'd forgotten all about Zoe, all about where I was, all about where I was going to; I just needed to get away from that situation before I had a panicky break down in front of them all. As I was running down a quieter bit of town, I felt myself bump into someone and I fell to the floor.

"Oh god are you alright?"

Somehow I knew I recognised that voice.

In my still panicky state, I looked up to see it was Jack.

Great. That's who I really needed to see me in this panicky state. Lucky me!

"Ruby? What's wrong?" Jack said, crouching down to my level.

I tried to speak but I found myself still panicking and gasping for air.

"Hey, hey, it's ok" he said soothingly. "I need you to breathe"

Only my mum would help me with panic attacks, but she was gone. That was my first one since she died. What was I gonna do?

I tried to breathe but instead they came out as shaky gasps.

"You need to breathe in through your nose, and out of your mouth" Jack instructed. "You're doing it the other way round at the minute"

I did it that way and it slowly started working.

"Yes, like that" he said. "Carry on doing that. You're doing great"

I carried on talking the deep breaths the proper way, and after five minutes or so, my breathing was back to normal. I took a sip of water from the bottle that was in my bag.

"What happened?" Jack asked. "Who were you with? Were you on your own?"

"Calm down" I groaned. "I'm fine"

"That hasn't answered any of my questions" he said.

I groaned loudly.

"I just had a little panic attack" I explained like it was nothing. "I was with Zoe and a load of fans ran over to us and before I knew it I started panicking a bit and I ran."

Jack nodded and got his phone out to make a call.

"Hi Zoe" he said after a few seconds. "I have Ruby with me. Yeah, she's ok don't worry. We're behind the apple store. Yep see you in a few. Bye"

With that, he hung up.

"She's on her way" he said looking slightly worried.

"I'm honestly fine" I groaned.

"That wasn't just a little panic attack, Ruby" he said. "That was one of the worst ones i've ever seen"

"I'm fine!" I groaned.

"When was the last time you had one?" he asked.

That instantly brought up memories of my mum. Something I couldn't think about.

And I knew I wouldn't be able to help but lash out to make that conversation not continue.

"Shut up" I said.

"Ruby come on I-" he said but I cut him off.

"It's none of your business!" I yelled, standing up.

"Come on, Ruby" he said. "I've helped before. I can help again."

"What, you think just because you've given one measly bit of advice then it's your business to shove your nose into everything?!" I yelled. "No it's not!"

Just then Zoe came over.

"Hey, what's happened?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"I wanna go home" I said bluntly.

"Ruby" Jack said but that's all I let him say.

"Just back the hell off!" I yelled.

I turned around and walked away.

So this was what opening up got me?

Why did I even bother?!

End of part 24

A/N:

Hi guys! Well, until next time!

Rachel x