Dr McHot

Little confused

Hanna sat on a wall far away from where the speech was made. The sun was still high in the sky but clouds had arrived now. The day wasn't so bright.

"You didn't tell me that you knew my brother," a soft voice came from behind her but she didn't turn round, she already knew who it was.

"I don't like to talk about it and clearly neither did you," Hanna said still staring at the ground.

"You could have if you needed to," Arizona said sitting down on the wall next to Hanna, "we dated for a long time. You could have talked to me about anything."

"He was my everything though," Hanna explained clearly still in a lot of pain about it, "it would have been weird telling you about it when we were together. We were so close but we didn't want to do the whole dating thing until we were safe back home. You know every time we would go into an active zone, he knew that I was scared because I was every time, so he would turn to me and say 'Don't you die out there Goldson because I'm gonna marry you one day' and  he would say it every time. And then one day he was hit and he didn't get up again. They had to drag me out of there because I refused to leave him, now that I think about it, I was being stupid and I put more than just myself at risk but at the time I just broke I couldn't think about anything else."

"I didn't know he had anyone like that," Arizona said putting an arm around her, "but my dad said that he wrote to him about you all the time."

A year fell from Hanna's eye but she caught it refusing to break right now. Arizona just held her while she began to talk about Tim.

"I kept up my end," Hanna exclaimed letting the tears take over, "I didn't die. But he... He did and it's not fair because everything I'm doing now is going wrong. I married someone I didn't love and we had a child but then had a divorce. Said child was then.."

At this point Hanna choked up and couldn't speak anymore. Arizona just rubbed her shoulders. They had never talked like this before, she always felt as though Hanna had been quite closed off.

It took her a minute but eventually she could breath again.

"Then was hit by a car," she choked as she watch the floor not looking anywhere else, "and I lost him. Then with you I thought everything would be fine and it wasn't. And Jackson. I hadn't had my first bipolar episode in seven years because everyone died at once, I lost Eliza and my mom at the same time. I feel like I've just walked across a wall of sucker punches."

"You have had possibly the worst couple of years ever and it's okay that you mess up occasionally and break," Arizona told her, "but you are so strong, if there is someone who can get through this it's you."

"I think Caleb is right," Hanna told her  as she calmed herself down, "I should go back to the army, I just need that routine again to keep my head straight. And he's right, I am a soldier at heart and I think it will help."

"Whatever you need okay," Arizona said resting her head on Hanna's shoulder as they go into a comfortable silence.