Dominating The Troublemaker

Jailhouse Blues

- Damien Black - 

I sighed.

It had to be done Damien, you were left with no choice. 

The feeling I had when tears flowed down her cheeks and sadness began to overwhelmed her, broke me to pieces. I've done nothing, absolutely nothing but hurt Roxanne and I would not be the cause of more heartbreak. She would have given up her family, the man who raised her and loved her unconditionally regardless of his poor timing.

For me, for a man who would only corrupt her and destroy her further. There could be no hope for us, there's a reason why we're constantly placed in these obstacles.

We are simply not wanted together. 

Even if we did get through this, something would happen again, and then even more suffering will be bestowed upon us. She doesn't need it, I don't need to cause it.

I'd give everything up for her, except take her away from people who she truly needs. Family is forever, lovers could end at any time. Right now she needs permanance and although I'd never have these feelings for anyone else. Whose to say I wouldn't do something stupid again that would jeopardize our relationship?

Roxanne needs to understand, that as long as I play a role in destroying the last chance of her having a family, I cannot be with her. Years ahead I do not want to see her cry or become depressed at missing out on important things. Like meeting her sibling when he or she is born.

I know that Donny would have murdered to be there at my birth, and I missed the birth of his first born.

I can't allow her to become me.

Even if I lose her forever.

*****

"Hey Black, you never told anyone how you got placed into this hell hole." Manny, one of the law-breakers said. "Your way to out of place here and it really bothers me to see you here. You're like an eyesore."

I huffed. "Thanks for the compliment, but I don't owe you an explanation."

"Watch that tone Black, I've been going easy on you since you most assuredly aren't convict material."

I'm not convict material? I slept with a minor. 

Deciding that my anger and heartbreak would take over, I chose not to speak. That would be the best thing since God knows whatever comes out of my mouth, will be venom and would only get me a broken nose. Manny was not a man to mess with, he's buff and I mean jail buff. He's been in here for seven years and practically runs this place.

The only reason why I got into his good graces was because coincidentally I helped his younger brother graduate from school three years ago. Kevin Santiago, his English wasn't great but I made sure he passed and he told his big brother Manny who greatly appreciated hearing his brother graduated.

"Well changing the topic, I'm thinking of getting my GED while I'm in here, so you know...when I get out I can support my kid." He announced, but looked up at me. "And seeing how your a teacher, maybe you can lend a hand to me like you did Kevin."

My eyebrows rose. "Well I'm not that great in Math."

"Math is easy, please, I've learned a few things about it being in here." He grinned. "I just don't know how to write essays and papers. Especially during a time crunch, I start to get freaked out and then blow it."