If Only ° Winwin (#Wattys2019)

xxv.

          ✼:*ﾟ   

pretending you weren't in love with someone you spend most of your time with, a large portion of your life, and your favorite go-to when you miss home, was tough for yiyang. for yiyang, he was unreachable, and you thanked her lucky stars everyday that they called each other close friends because yiyang would choose that than nothing at all.

although taeyong had said they would just clean their mess the next day, she picked up empty packs of chips and empty bottles and placed them in a place for it to be easier for the boys to clean. 

she was busy picking up bottles when she saw a pair of foot in front of her and she looked up to sicheng. "let me help you with that." he said and yiyang blushed at the subtle way their hands touched when sicheng reached for the bottles in her hands. 

it was silent until sicheng talked about china and how much he missed home and how he almost bought a plane ticked because he missed his family so much and he wanted to celebrate the holidays with them instead of working. yiyang smiled at him sympathetically, "just keep in mind that you are here not because you are working, but because you are making them proud."

they stood near the railings, elbows against the metal and their shoulders touching, looking at the landscape in front of them in comfortable silence. "hey, i just remembered i was supposed to tell you something." sicheng spoke making yiyang look at his eyes and yiyang, with every fiber of her being, is mentally scolding herself for thinking what sicheng is about to say is just a mere greeting or just random thing, and it's not what she's hoping it---it's not a confession and it will never be. 

"what?"

"i forgot to tell you...jieri kuailie, noona." and yiyang was right and she's disappointed. it was just a greeting just like what she thought. she laughed at sicheng and greeted him back, getting herself a smile and it made her heart flip. it was nothing new but every time he beams, she just...loses it.

they laughed and suddenly fell into silence. suddenly the atmosphere between them became tensed and thick; like there was a force that's stopping them from doing what's supposed to happen and words to be spoken, and it was suffocating her.

yiyang's heart clenched when she noticed how sicheng's eyes fell to her lips, and it leaped when sicheng was suddenly walking towards her. "sicheng...what are you doing..." and there was not enough space left between the two of them anymore and she could feel sicheng's breath against her cheeks. "sicheng, you are not sane anymore, you're gonna regret this."

and as yiyang was gonna warn him again, she was cut off by sicheng's full lips against her, and it made her insides explode because it felt right, the way their lips molded and complete each other's, everything was painfully right yiyang couldn't even put a finger to how she was feeling at the moment.

as much as she would hate this the next day, she wanted to savour every second of it because she knows, she's gonna die after this because the flowers inside her was growing exponentially and choking her bit by bit, so she kissed him back. and she hates how giving she was at the moment, how everything was so unfair because she's kissing her with every bit of her and sicheng is surely just kissing her because of the alcohol.

and it hurts her, but it also makes her happy because she knows...tomorrow he won't remember everything and they could just pretend nothing happened.

the bottle in yiyang's hand dropped, making the two of them pull away---that's when yiyang noticed she got tears flowing and she was in the brink of dying. she couldn't breath at all and she thinks she's a masochist because she wants sicheng's lips against her lips again, she's willing to take in all the pain.

"i-i'm..." sicheng stuttered, looking lost and at the same time breaking yiyang's heart so she put her index finger in his lips, "no, sicheng, keep it to yourself, the damage has been done."

yiyang couldn't take it all anymore and she's mentally telling herself to leave already and think about her health because staying here, in front of sicheng who looks apologetic and not happy is suicide. and so she decided to leave.

before she pulled the door open, she looked back and tried to smile, "let's...let's just forget about it. that's what you want anyway." and left.

            ✼:*ﾟ     

-TADAAAAAAAAA

-I DIED WHILE WRITING THIS

-HOW DO YOU TURN A FLUFFY MOMENT TO A  VERY ANGST ONE

-longest chp ever lel

-the chinese their says happy holidays

-bye i know y'all are gonna hate me for this >:)