A Taste of Happiness (O2L fanfiction)

Planning and Breaking

•Connor•

'I wish that I could wake up with amnesia'

'And forget about the stupid little things'

'Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you'

'And the memories I never can escape'

'Cause I'm not fine at all'

I grab my phone and I replay the song.

That is what I have been doing for weeks:

Playing sad songs and sobbing.

My door hasn't been unlocked since we came home from the, the, the, hospital.

I haven't eaten, slept, left my room, talked to anyone. I have one hundred and seventy two messages. I haven't gone on youtube, I haven't changed my clothes.

My life just ended.

"Connor, I, I know it's hard but you need to come out" I can tell it's Trevor by his knock.

I refuse to answer.

"Connor it's important, you need to help" He kept pleading but I was not budging.

It's just been me, sad songs and my memories of Carson and I'm not about to change that.

I hear my door open.

"What the hell? Stay out! Ever heard of freaking privacy? Get out now or I swear to god!" I yelled at whoever came in.

"It's the only way I could help you" Trevor, he doesn't even live here! Go the hell home!

"I don't want help. And your not my Dad so screw off!" I scoffed. I never looked at him, I wanted Carson's face to stay in my mind. I never wanted it to leave.

"Connor, wehavetoplancarsonsfuneral" Wtf! Speak up!

"Trevor tell me or get the hell out!" I am about to beat the shit out of him.

"Her funeral! We have to plan her funeral!" My head popped up, but then I slowly put it back down.

I have to plan a funeral, the final goodbye, for the girl I love.

Fml.

I pause the music and I sit up.

If I make a list of rules it will be okay.

1: Don't look anyone in the eye.

2: Don't do anything but plan the funeral.

3: Always keep Carson on your mind.

4: If I need space stay the hell out of my room.

5: Never smile or be happy.

"I Got it" Wait did I say that out loud?

I hear my door close and I scam the floor for feet. He's gone.

I get up and go to my bathroom. I look awful and honestly, I couldn't be bothered.

I leave my bathroom and I walk to my door.

Wait, I'm forgetting something.

The music.

I walk to my phone and press play.

Now I can leave.

I open the door and I walk downstairs. Kian and Sam look like shit too. Trevor doesn't look great but he seems like he has been out a few times.

"I want it to be happy, she would want it that way" Kian mumbles.

"I want there to be roses everywhere" Sam adds.