Moving On

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by yourbaeo2l

by yourbaeo2l

•Carson•

I can't believe what I just watched. My tongue is dry, I'm frozen in place, my mind is going crazy, and I'm watching it again.

I did this to them! I did this to millions of people! I did this to myself!

OurSecondLife split up because of me! It's all my fault!

Everyone's lives would be so much better without me in them!

In the video, Connor screamed at Ricky and then wouldn't stop glaring at him. Next Sam starts yelling and is cut off when Kian slaps Ricky, yells at him, gets my number, and storms off to his room. Sam quickly follows. Then Ricky defends himself, Jc freaks. And then Ricky's words stay in my head.

'Awwww boo hoo Carson's mad at us, at least now she won't be our charity case!'

Was I really their charity case? I knew it! God, how could I be so stupid! I stayed mainly because of Ricky and then he does this! He's so bipolar!

But then Connor yells at him and kicks him out of the house. After Trevor says he loves his fans the screen goes black and tiny pictures of the boys start to pop up and then the words 'the end<3'.

I start sobbing.

I replay the video about a million more times, and then I realize, what's done is done! There's no going back now. I mean I feel awful and I know this is all my fault, but what can I do about it!

Just then an unknown number appears on my phone. Who could it be? Oh yeah Kian. I clear my throat and answer the call.

"Hey, Carson?" Asked a familiar voice, I don't think it was Kian's though.

"Hello, who is this?" I asked. Who were they how did they know my name and number?

"How could you not remember me?" Then I realize who it is, I drop the phone, tears pouring out of my eyes, how did he find me?

I take all the strength I have to pick up the phone.

"Listen to me, I am calling the police right now and they will hunt your ass down! I will know who you are and smile knowing that you will rot in a cell" I yelled into the phone before hanging up.

Shit shit shit! He will find me torture me and kill me. But I'll see my family. I'll be in my mothers arms again, and I'll leave all the stress and pain behind. I should just kill myself now, end my misery. But I have to hug the guys one more time before I do. But they hate me!

Then I hear a knock on the door. He found me already! Guess I won't get to say goodbye. The person knocked again but a lot harder. I started crying. I took my phone out and went into my notes.

'Dear boys,

I know the chances of you looking through my notes and finding this are low, but why not. I'm sorry, and even though you hate me for ruining everything you had, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I had to get away from him, I had to see my family, I had to go. I love you all so much and I can't wait until the day comes that we are reunited. ~Carson'

The person at the door was now banging on the door, I had to do it quick, I ran into the kitchen and pulled out the knife.

I looked at the ceiling "See you soon mommy" I whispered before pushing the knife through my stomach. The pain felt so good.

I could finally let go.

Then the door opened and a figure ran through it. It was him! I couldn't believe it! This hurt more than the knife.

"Kian!" I said before I feel into a deep sleep hoping I'd never wake up.