Damn, You're Cute (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 20

"I meant to tell you that you, um, look nice." Michael said awkwardly, allowing me to climb into the booth first. Ashton and Caroline sat across from us.

Earlier, Michael dropped me off at my house, promising to be back in a little over an hour. He arrived just as he said he would in black skinny jeans and a Def Leppard t-shirt. It didn't take long to get to the restaurant and find Caroline.

"Thank you," I gave him a small smile, looking around the restaurant. He was in a better mood than before. He seemed to forget about his cold actions toward me in the car. I shook it off, thinking I was making it a bigger deal than it was.

"So, what movie are we seeing tonight?" I asked the new couple in front of me while glancing down at my menu. I realized I was eating at two different restaurants in one day but dismissed the thought. I was here for Caroline.

"We," Caroline grinned at the pronoun, looking at Ashton as she said it. It was like they loved thinking of themselves as one. "were thinking of just going for the next one playing when we get there."

"Yeah, that sounds great!" I told her happily, slowly closing my menu. I watched as Ashton began to talk to Caroline,  his eyes locked on her's.

"They don't even need us here." Michael said lowly, almost admiring the two. "They can talk on their own just fine."

"Yeah, they're cute." I smiled, Ashton giggling at something Caroline had said while Michael was whispering to me.

"Are you, like, some huge romantic because that's the vibe I'm getting from you," Michael made an odd gesture with his hand, motioning to me.

"Why, are you?" I asked jokingly, but Michael tensed for a second.

"No!" he said quickly, before cursing under his breath. I laughed because I was unsure of what to do. What was his issue? "But actually, are you?"

"I have interesting views on romance, some people think." I ran my tonngue my dry bottom lip, giving him a humorless laugh.

"What do you mean?" he seemed intrigued. I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it now. "Leah," Michael whined. 

"Fine." I rolled my eyes, picking at my chipped black nail polish. "I'm weird about relationships. I'm fine with dating. I think it's really adorable, actually but it never works out. Like, you should date someone to find happiness before all happiness is gone, you know?"

"Not really." Michael said plainly.

"Love doesn't exist," I summed it up for him. I raised my eyebrows, my lips in a straight line. It is what it is.

"You don't honestly believe that!" His jaw dropped.

"It doesn't exist! I'm serious! You can date and be infatuated with whomever you want but after awhile, it all crashes and burns." I explained although it was a harsh thing to think. Michael crossed his arms, not having it.

"What about marriage, when two people who love each other promise themselves to one another?" He didn't like my opinions, obviously, but I wasn't going to not fight for them.

"Marriage is full of secrets and a bond one or the other is bound to break," I said, watching Michael gape at me. 

"But your parents are married!" he argued. It was like I was the devil or something. He couldn't believe the words coming from my mouth.

"They're married but I don't know if they love each other. Sure, they say that they do when they go to work in the morning or to me when I leave for school, and I say it back, but it's kind of just a thing. A six year old might say I love you to their parents but if you asked them to define it, they couldn't because it doesn't truly exist. We all have this idea of true love, but honestly, it's just a word we use for comfort. A word used to make us feel like we're cared about and that's all there is. We just want to feel a deeper emotion than caring when there isn't one. I know my dad cares about my mom and my parents care about me, but love? I don't know. It's pretty powerful and extremely rare. So rare that I say, it doesn't exist."