𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍: 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐲

TWENTY-THREE: A Bed Of Roses

A few months earlier after I'd been outed and forced to live on Victrolli property, I'd been allowed a single visit from my parents. Too disappointed to face me my father had refused the visit leaving mama to be the only one of their pair to show up with open ears, warm hugs and remaining luggage. We got a full day together but before she left we'd had one chat that haunted me in my predicament. "Let me ask you, something baby..." she'd spoken, a potray of colours swimming in her glittering eyes that held a lurking sadness behind them. "Say there's a rose, you know roses right?"

"You mean those lil ol flowers I buy you every Mother's and Valentine's Day?" I fought through rolling my eyes at her when she petted me and placed my head flat on her pillowed lap.

"Yes. I want you to imagine having a bed of roses and that is withering away." tone all motherly and inquisitive. "Which do you fix. The flowers or the bed's environment?"

I remember feeling a little uncomfortable at what felt like a trick question, I answered as unsure as I felt. "Er. The bed's environment?" 

I felt her nod as her energy transitioned into one of Dad's philosophical modes she sometimes adopted in dire situations. "That's correct and that's the point I hope to draft into you today because here's the thing baby. I don't know exactly what you went through in school and especially with the Alpha's son but the blame will be given to you. Unless if you change things."

"But__" I strained to get a defence in but she raised her hand with the universal stop sign. "What our young Alpha did may have left you with no option but to defy the gods' wishes. I also assume and understand that whatever you went through with him, especially in school was the equivalent of your rose bed, withering under a hostile environment?"

Bottom lip trapped between my teeth, eyes closed with unshed tears I lifted my head to face her and nodded. Wanting to convey so much but did not know where exactly to begin so I could be understood.

She exhaled softly. "Malik my son. I wish everyone could see you from my perspective, you're a doctor that graduated Summa Cum Laude. A best friend one would literally die for, a brother who inspires. Believe it or not, you're a son whose father would go to war for. You're one of my children, all of you, the echo of my heartbeat but you're the one whose beat has been thrumming hardest for a long time. That was indicator enough. Oh, baby..." She stopped herself and chorused the next words in a way that ached at my heartstrings with immense guilt. "I could see it in your eyes. How you weren't happy even after you claimed a mate, the sadness always lingered behind them. I should have..."

I rushed to stop her from going any further. "Don't blame yourself, this is all me and Him."

"Baby, in the human parents of school shooters are getting criminal charges for the wreck their kids cause. I'm not saying what you did is the equivalent, but it's up there close to it. So, let me have this moment to take responsibility for my shortcomings as a mother." she looked at me imploringly and I looked away but she continued anyway. "I knew something was wrong but your father and I summed that you were only going through puberty, we figured you would be happy after finding a mate. Then you did and somehow got worse. So we trusted that you would be happier with some independence of your own in college. You enrolled, left and we convinced ourselves that you were. You were achieving so much for yourself you'd even gotten friends with what we believed was your mate beside you but you weren't happy were you?"

"I was actually happy." I took my ma's hand in my trembling own and looked at her. "You need not worry."

"I can't help but worry Malik. Your father sees you in the corridors with Hannez, what is it you talk to him about?"