Typical

89

     "Fuck man, this is serious. This is a big thing. Fuck man" I ran my hands through my hair, almost in an aggressive way. My mind was fogged full of confusion, fear, sickness. Every feeling there was to possibly feel.

"It'll be fine bro, you'll figure it out" Ian tried to persuade my mind as handed me a class full of whiskey.

I threw it back instantly, downing every last drop as my throat burned of fire and pain.

I wanted to punch something, the fucking wall, a pillow, break a glass. Fucking breaking knuckles on the tar outside.

This wasn't real, how could this be real?

"Jesus... relax dude" He went to set his hand on my shoulder but I stood up quickly, pulling away.

I knew he was just trying to help but I needed to be alone. I needed to get the fuck out of this town.

"Where are you going"? Ian called as I grabbed my keys off the counter of his parents kitchen counter and slammed the front door.

My truck was calling my name and so was the gas Pedal.

......

Willows POV:

I stood in front of the body length mirror, running my cold hands up and down my stomach, my frail legs, bony ribs and sunken cheeks starring back.

I tried to imagine a big huge watermelon in there, or a basket ball.

Part of me couldn't picture it but part of me also could.

I could picture myself starring into the eyes of my baby, a little, brown haired blue eyes baby.

I could picture Shawn's hair, his secret curls he had when he was just little. And my eyes, blue eyes.

It was the weirdest thing, the weirdest concept to wrap my head around, I had always wondered what my baby would look like and how it would feel to have a little human moving around inside of me.

But trust me when I say I was scared out of mind, so scared I wanted to puke. So scared I felt those butterflies you get before you have to do a presentation in front of the whole class. So scared I wanted to scream at god that I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be responsible for a little baby and I was going to mess up.... I wasn't going to be a good mom.

I was utterly terrified.

But there was this voice in my mind that comforted me, comforted all my thoughts and told me that god will yell back at me and say I could handle anything thrown my way, look at everything I've already accomplished. He would say I was gonna be a good mom and I was gonna protect my baby with everything I had in me and more.

Something told me that I was meant for this.

"Willow? Are you okay in there"? Ally's worried voice asked as she slightly knocked on the wooden door of her bedroom bathroom.

I grabbed the brush off the sink and ran it through my hair.

"I'm good. Just getting dressed" I replied back and I hadn't realized how hoarse my voice had become. I felt so tired, I could sleep for days.

"Okay just remember the doctor said take it easy for a few days and to eat. I'm going to leave so toast for you on the night stand by the bed okay"? I nodded as she spoke before realizing she couldn't actually see me nod.

"Okay, thank you Al" I heard footsteps and a door close as she walked away.

I took a deep breath, wrapping the white towel around my body and heading out into the cool air of the bedroom.

I saw a pair of Allys pajamas laid out for me on her bed.

As I quickly slipped them on and sunk myself deep into her comfortable bed with the giant comforter pulled over me.

I couldn't help but wonder about my baby and my baby daddy.