Typical

Chapter eighty five

I couldn't stop thinking about the text the whole way back to the house. Amanda had ruined things so many times before and at this point, she was making it look easy.

I didn't trust Shawn, I wanted too but I didn't and part of me hated myself for that but the other part knew I deserved to have him fight for my trust back.

Shawn didn't tell me the full story about anything, he never did.

Why did he go back to her?

What was really his reason?

Did he get bored with me?

"Will, how does that sound"? A warm hand gently rested against my bare thigh, Shawns voice making its way in my ears that I had somehow turned off.

"Hmm"? I asked without actually
Opening my mouth, keeping my eyes forward on the road as Shawn drove, Ally and Ian in the back seat chatting away.

"Al and Ian are gonna stay at the house for the night, we'll have drinks and maybe invite some friends over"

He kept looking at me and back at the road over and over again, almost like he was trying to get into my brain and see what thoughts were running through my head.

He always did this, he always knew when something was wrong or bothering me but that's just the thing, not one thing was wrong.

Everything was wrong.

"Why"? I piped up, looking up him.

He was taken back by my sudden outburst, I watched as his eye brows furrowed.

"What's up"? He tried to whisper, not wanting to make it obvious that something was wrong in front of Ally and Ian.

Not that they would notice as they sucked face.

"We don't need to have drinks" I rolled my eyes, quieting down my voice but starring back out the window.

I hated myself for feeling this way.

Me and Shawn agreed to work on things, we did and I didn't want to fuck that up but every little fucking thing was irritating me.

I couldn't trust my own boyfriend.

He's lies to me in the past.

He walked away and left me for his ex.

He's basically cheated.

Was I dumb?

Was I one of those pathetic girls that run back to a boy who didn't deserve her?

Was I blind?

"Okay... is that all? Cause you seem pretty irritated"

He took his hand off my thigh and placed a firm grip on his steering wheel, what he always did when he was mad and we were in the vehicle.

"I'm not"

"Clearly something pissed you off"

"I'm not mad"

"Willow don't lie to me, I'm not stupid"

"IM NOT FUCKING MAD SHAWN. FUCKING DROP IT"

My chest pounded as it seemed like all the air was released from my lungs and I had nothing left.

The car grew silent, fast.

Shawn starred at me, in disbelief. Shocked that I had yelled, I've never yelled at him like that before.

It seemed like the world around me had stopped and I didn't know what to say or do next.

I felt awful for yelling

But I needed to breathe and I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Will.." Ally's hand brushed up against my shoulder as it was clear to everyone how heavy I was breathing.

I felt sick

Really sick

"Are you okay"?

I heard her speak but it seemed that every word that came out of her mouth just seemed to get quieter and quieter.

I felt dizzy

Really dizzy

"Take me home," I rubbed my temples, demanding Shawn to bring me home, not asking.

"That was the plan" He huffed, not making eye contact with me.

It was clear he was angry.

"No,"

I looked at him.

"My home"