Let's Do This // Phan Parenting AU

Chapter 19- The Fight

•Blakely's pov•

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of self harm and Mentions of suicide

*Few days later*

Ages:14

Words:1385

••• 

I wake up with my back pressed against something warm, Evan slept over last night. I turn so I'm now facing my boyfriend. I give him a kiss on his nose, and he shakes awake a little, and he wraps his arms tighter around my hips.
"Babe I have to pee, let me get up." I say. He let's his arms fall off me, and I get up. I walk to the bathroom and pull down my spandex. After I'm done I pull my hoodie sleeves up, seeing many cuts and scars on both of my wrist. I frown at them, I was doing better until I go in a fight with my dad's. Right now I'm around a week clean, which is a long time for me.

I walk back into my room, and Evan is up and on his phone.
"Good moring beautiful." He says opening the covers and his arms.
"Good moring babe." I say climbing into his arms.
"Did you sleep well?" He asks.
"Yeah, did you?" I asks pecking his lips.
"I did." He says picking me up so I'm now on his lap.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen?" He asks.
"Yes you tell me almost everytime we see each other." I say kissing him, we both a have moring breath, but we don't care.

He quickly bites my lip asking for entrance, and I let his tongue into my mouth. His tongue explores my mouth, and I moan into the kiss. After a little but he makes his way down to my jaw, and sucking.
"No m-marks." I moan out. Then he takes his mouth off, and reattaches his lips to mine.
"Are you okay if we do more than just making out?" Evan whispers over my lips.
"I would love for you to fuck me, but we don't have any condoms, and I don't feel like being a teen mom." I say.
"I have a few in my bag." He says. "But really only if you want to do it with me, I don't want to pressure you into anything." He says.
"Like I said, I really want you to fuck me." I say, completely forgetting about the cuts on my arms. He gets of the bed, and goes to his bag grabbing a foil package, then putting it on the bed side table.

He pulls off his shirt, then pulls mine off. He stops when he grabs my wrist, and I pull away.
"Blakely, what are these?" He asks with tears forming in his eyes.
"Nothing." I say putting my hoodie back on.
"Blakely we need to talk about this." He says putting his shirt back on.
"I don't want to!" I yell.
"You can't just cut into your skin!"
"I can do what ever the hell I want!"
"Not if it's fucking hurting you!" He yells very loudly.
"It helps!" And with that both of my dad's come rushing into my room.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Phil asks.
"We are just having a fight, it's noting we're fine." I say wiping the tears that I didn't even knew fell.
"What was the fight over?" Dan asks.
"I-i....um....just..." I stumble over my words.
"Blakely you can tell us anything." Dan says.
"It was just...we are fighting over me um...cutting." I say jumping into Evans arms, and I start crying even harder into his shirt. I don't know why I do, I just know he feels safe.
"Oh Blakely." Phil says looking at Dan, and frowning.
"Phil I'm going to take Blakely down stairs, and you talk to Evan." Dan says taking me from his arms.

"Blakely do you want to know something?" He asks me, and I nod.
"Look at my wrists." He says holding out both of his wrist.
"Are those?" I asks, I see very faded scars, that look really old. I've never noticed them before.
"I use to cut when I was in high school, I use to be really badly bullied. Then after you guys came into my life, the change brought urges that I didn't know I still had. But I'm like a year and half clean now." He says.
"I didn't know." I say shocked.
"You ever wonder why Phil has so many tattoos?" He says, I never really thought about it, I just thought he liked the look.
"He also use to, but he got help, I got help, and we are both happy now." He says, and I nod.

I want to just go lay with Evan now, can I?" I ask.
"Yeah go ahead." Dan says.

•••

•Phil's pov•

"So why did you get mad at the cuts?" I ask sitting on Blakely's bed, then pat a spot for Evan to sit next to me.
"Because I use to have a sister." He says.
"What happened to her?" I ask, already having a clear idea.
"She killed herself just one day, I still don't know why. She seemed so happy just like her normal self, the night it happened. I was only 10 but I knew something wasn't right when I say cuts on her wrists, so I asked her about it. She said that it was our cat Mr. Fluffy, and me being the stupid 10 year old I was believed that. She was fighting with my parents about her not coming home the night before, then 5 minutes later a gun shot rang through the house. That's how I lost my big sister. Her and my older brother were twins, after that my family fell apart. It's just seeing Blakely like that made me remember her." He says with tears threatening to fall.
"I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with that at such a young age. What was her name?" I ask.
"Maddie." He says. I don't know why but I lean over a pull him into a hug, and I hold him as he cry's everything out.

•••

"Thanks for holding me." He says lifting his head from my chest.
"It was nothing, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you, I didn't have such a great childhood. I lost my brother when I was 13 due to the same reason." I say.
"I'm sorry and thanks, sometimes you need to talk to someone who's a father figure."
"Of course, I will always be here if you ever need anything." I say giving him one more time.

I look over at Blakely's nightstand, and see a unopened condom.
"Do you found out because you guys were about to fuck isn't?" I say.
"Yeah, I hope you're not mad."
"At least you guys are doing it safe, I don't want her to be a teen mom, like her birth mother. But even if she did we would still support her." I say.
"I will try not to get her pregnant." He says with a laugh. 

Then there's a knock on the door.
"Come in." We both say. Blakely walks into the room.
"Daddy can you please leave?" She asks, I nod and walk out.

•••
•Blakely's pov•

"Hey." I say walking over to my bed.
"Hi." He says.
"I'm sorry."
"No don't be sorry, it's not your fault."
"I'm put them on my skin." I say.
"No your thoughts put them onto your skin." He says.
"But it was my hand that took the blade to my wrists." I say.
"Shh, well it's not going to happen anymore. Your thoughts aren't going to trick you anymore, because I'm here now." After he says that he grabs my left wrist, and starts kissing every cut and scar. The he grabs my right wrist, and does the same. He then places a kiss to my nose, and then onto my lips.
"I know we haven't been dating for very long, but I want to say this. I love you, I get if yo-" I cut him off by kissing him.
"I love you too." I say.

Damn I'm 14 and I all ready know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.