Let's Do This // Phan Parenting AU

Chapter 17- 8th Grade

•Owens pov•

Trigger Warnings: Homophobic slurs, Slight eating disorder, and Self harm

*Few weeks later*

Ages:13

Words:1220

•••

School starts tomorrow and I'm not excited, I'm going to have to see Alex and his group. No one know what they say to me, and it hurts. I've almost told Conner a few time, but I don't want him to be hurt. I want to talk to dad about wanting to wear different clothes, so I make my way down stairs.

"Dad?" I ask, he just sitting on the couch on twitter.
"Yeah?" He asks putting his phone down.
"Can I try wearing different clothes?"
"Like what?" He asks.
"Crop tops, skirts, maybe a little but of makeup?"
"If you think that will make you happy, then yes we can go shopping soon."
"It would make me happy, thank you. Can we also paint my room pastel blue and pink?"
"Again if it makes you happy, then we will. It's already 10:30 maybe try going to bed, you have to be up at 6." He says.
"Okay thank you." I say running up stairs.

I walk up stairs and hear music blaring from Blakely's room. I want to go bed at a reasonable time so I knock on the door.
"What do you want?" She snaps.
"Can you turn down the music please." I ask.
"Hell no I love this song." She says. Uhh, why is she so difficult. I walk back down stairs to see my dad's cuddling on the couch.
"Blakely won't turn down her music, and I kinda want to sleep." I say.
"Well looks like we have to step in." Phil says with Dan also getting up.

"See what I mean it's so loud." I say half way up the stairs.
"No wonder she's blasting music, this is the good shit." Daddy says. Singing along to Roaring 20s by Panic! At The Disco.
"Please just have her turn it down." I whine.
"Yeah this is really annoying." Dan says. When he says that the song changes, and we hear two screams after the first note. Phil looks like he's about to cry.
"She going to turn down that music now that I just got fucking g-noted. Blakely you need to turn off the music it's almost 11, and Owen wants to sleep. Also you just fucking g-noted me, so you better apologize." He says, and with that the music is turned off.

•••

As I'm walking through the middle school front door, all I can think about is that it's my last year in this hell. I'm an 8th grader this year which means I'm at the top of the school. I'm wearing my white jeans with pink shirt sleeve shirt and white vans, I'm just walking through the hall trying to get to my first period, and I bump into Alex.
"Fuck." I whisper.
"Oh hey fairy boy, how was your summer?"
"G-good."
"Well I'm sorry you had a good summer it just looks like your going to have a hell of a school year to make up for it." He says shoving me against a wall.
"P-please don't." I say.
"Your a faggot why would I listen to you?" He says spitting on my face, then walking away laughing to his friends.

•••

It's lunch and I'm looking for a place to sit, but there's none. It's not like I need a place to eat, I should even eat I'm to fat. I throw the apple a brought for lunch away, then made my way into the library to spend the rest of the time. To help pass time I text Connor, he's in class right now so he won't reply.

Me: Hi Conner, I miss you. Do you think we can hang out after school, I could use some of those super Connor cuddle's.

A few minutes later he replys.

Connor: Hi baby, I miss you too. Of course we can hang out. I love you I have to get back to work, this teacher is a bitch.

Me: I love you too.

I scroll through instagram, sense I'm Dan and Phil's kid I have a lot of followers. They just love to stock their children, but I don't mind, it actually kinda makes me feel like people want to know about me. Once the bell rings I only have 2 more classes until school gets out, and I get to see my boyfriend.

•••

"Hey Owen!" Conner says walking up behind me.
"Hi." I say pecking his lips real quick.
"How was your day?"
"It was okay. What about you?"
"It was okay, but I missed you all day."
"It missed you to, want come to mine and watch a movie?" I ask.
"I would love to." He says and we start walking to my house.

•••

After a few hours he has to leave and get home his own family. I don't feel like I have enough energy to do anything. I have Alex I'm every single one of my classes, and he never stops me how worthless I am. After a little while you start to believe this stuff. I believe that I'm worthless. Sometime I think it may be easier if I just drop this whole pastel thing, but bright colors make me happy.

•••

I was looking at depressing qoutes, when on things keeps coming up self harm. People keep saying that it feels good, it helps the mental pain. Maybe I should try it, maybe it could help.

I search my room for a pencil sharper, I find one a few minutes later. It's around 11 at night so I go down stairs to grab a screw driver.

"Owen what are you still doing up?" Dan asks.
"I just need some water, I couldn't sleep." I say making my way to the kitchen.
"Okay, I love you."
"I love you too."

I go into the junk draw where I find a screw driver, then slide it into my pocket. Then grab a glass if water, ans walk back up to my room.

Once I get up there I shut and lock my door. I go to my desk where the sharper is, and take it apart. Once I have the blade free from the plastic I throw the plastic away.

I look at the blade wondering if this little thing could make me happier. I say fuck it. I bring the blade on to my wrist and slide. It hurt but at the same time I feel like something is taken off of my shoulders. So I make another cut, and another one. I finish with around 6 cuts on my left wrist. They are bleeding really bad, so I go into my bathroom.

I put my arm under the water, and flinch as water is brought down upon the cuts. After a minute of them being under water I wrap them in toilet paper, and look around my bathroom for bandaid's. I find some pastel pink ones, and place one to two bandaid's per cut. After I'm done I throw on a hoodie, unlock my door, and slip into bed.

I think about how that really helped. And I fall into a really good sleep, only to be woke up at 6 the next moring.