Nightmares (Complete)

Fifteen

Everyone seemed to tense up, but nobody moved, and i did not expect them to. Then someone did.

“H-humans did it” i was running toward the gate at the word humans. My heart pounded loudly in my chest as i tore through the large gate. I caught the scent of the humans, following it without missing a beat. When i burst through the undergrowth and spotted their camp, my loud growl tore through the air.

“Which one of you did it” i growled. One laughed, my eyes shooting to him.

“All of us” they were all dead bodies talking now. My instincts took over. I killed them all swiftly, standing in the center of their camp, breathing heavy, their blood splattered on my clothes. I walked stiffly to a stream, stripping and cleaning myself, along with my clothes, putting on the wet cotton pjs and walking towards the tribe.

I needed to comfort nalla and ethan. I needed a shoulder to cry on myself, my tears held back by thin glassed dams.

When i walked back into the gates, the house was put out, alyssa was wrapping in a blanket, people already digging a grave for her. I watched from the side as nalla cried, held back by ethan as alyssa was gently set into the ground and buried. Suddenly she turned to me, running into my arms, crying waves of tears.

And i let her, patting her back softly. I didn’t move, just held her softly, holding onto the tears i had, trying to be strong for the only true family i had left. Faces flashed in my mind, reminded me that i had other family. My friends were my family. And for now on, i would protect them, no matter what.

Later that night ethan and nalla moved into our house, they got to sleep in the bed while me and chastial slept on the couch. Me and him were cuddled, facing the large window that exposed the black sky. I cried on his chest for a long time, and even he shed a few tears.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a soft voice. I wanted to shake my head, but i just nodded, my hands clenched around his now drenched shirt. He hugged me closer. “I will help you keep them safe, as long as you keep yourself safe as well, and let me protect you” i looked up at his eyes, sadness gleaming in their depths.

“Okay” i whispered, sniffling a little. I snuggled closer to him, drifting into a fitful sleep.

The morning was full of tears and grief throughout the tribe. Everyone had grown to love alyssa, and deeply missed her. Whenever i thought about her voice, her words, her name. Tears always burst to my eyes, quickly overfilling what was left of my dam. It was so hard to accept the fact that she was dead.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red, my nose pink, my eyes sunken in from lack of sleep, dark purple under them. My skin was pale, the glow in my eyes replaced by clouds. When i glanced to the window, the skys seemed to be filled with clouds too, the blue no seeming beautiful anymore.

For me, it stood for the color of sadness, and i knew eventually the clouds would fade, but i also knew that time would not be soon. My sister died… more tears flowed freely down my cheek, my eyes slowly drawing back to my pitiful face. I was thin. I refused to eat more than a few bites, knowing the rest could have been eaten by…

I shook my head, wiping my tears with toilet paper, setting it in the trash and letting out a loud sigh as i drug my feet out of the door. The days went on in the same fashion. Winter went by as a blur, the snow only chilling my now cold heart further. My birthday past without mention, well beside the gift from chastial and nalla. It was another cd for the radio i never listened to.

I was sitting in front of the window again, staring at the snow with a blank face. I had locked away my feeling, my mouth in a line, my eyes blank of emotions. I ran out of tears, along with anything else. I was becoming a real zombie. If you looked at my eyes close enough, you could see the red spreading out, covering the dark blue.

I stood up, walking to the kitchen and making a quick breakfast for nalla and ethan, who were still asleep, and eating a few strawberries. Suddenly i felt a hand on my shoulder, flinching a little, then relaxing once i realized it was chastial. He poked a waffle chunk, holding it in front of mouth.

“You need to eat, otherwise your instincts will go out of control” he murmured. I refused to let myself loose control, so i let him feed me a whole plate of waffles. At lunch i ate a sandwich, dinner i ate mashed potatoes. The people around me seemed to realize i was eating, smiles lighting up their faces as days passed, more food going through my mouth.

The silent tribe started talking in voices louder than whispers, more activity spreading across the safe home we had. After another month i was healthy looking again. I had eaten and slept, my eyes no longer were dull, the clouds were clearing, the storm finally blowing away.

The red that was eating away started shrinking. I stared at my reflection, forcing a smile onto my face. I had drawn closer to chastial too. We hug a lot, and cuddle, he comforted me through my difficult life, he shared my burden with me, and i was glad for it.

The smile i had on was better than the line i always wear, despite the fact that it did not reach my eyes. Everyone noticed, the tribe almost completely lively again. We all sat at the dinner table we had made, thought of drunk alyssa went past my mind, put i just smiled at the sweet memory. I could stay strong.

“So, you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” someone said, laughing loudly. I couldn’t help but snicker at their terrible joke.

“I bet you wouldn’t say that on a stage” i teased. Everyone was silent, all of them staring wide eyed at me, making me smile a little sheepishly. Then they all broke into laughter, some patting my back.

“Glad to have the old winter back” they said. “Nice to have you back” they all shared one thing in common though. They all had smiles.