Love Child... //Matty Healy (ON HOLD)

Chapter11-

"you alright?" he asks quickly, panicked, as he brings me to my feet "woah, easy..easy!" he grabs me by the arm as i stumble again, quickly becoming light headed all of a sudden "get back!" he holds his arm out as people start to crowd us "move. Give her some room!" he shouts at them "I'm okay" i breathe, finally finding my voice. Though i need to get out of here now. It's far too hot in here and its making me feel sick "come on, lets get you home" he walks me out of the club. Careful not to touch me again but always keeping his hands out near me incase i was to fall again.

"thanks" i mumble when i get to my car. Opening the door and climb in. I go to close the door. To leave it as that "you gonna be alright driving back,i mean, alone?" he asks. What is it with him. Like he all of a sudden cares for my well being "I'll be fine" i tell him simply. I attempt to close the door again but he keeps hold of it "no. I don't think so. Come on, I'll drive you back!" he waits for me to move. I don't. I just give him a funny look. I just wanna get home already "you're not driving so you might aswell scoot over" he lightly laughs "god sakes!" i hiss, scooting over the centre to get in the passenger seat.

The drive was long, and quiet. Neither of us making effort for small talk.

"thanks, again" I slam the door shut. My mood creeping back for no reason. I can't even keep up with my mood swings myself "you gonna be alright getting up there alone?" he chuckles, pointing up to my place "I'm pregnant. Not ill" i snap. a rush of dizziness hits me and it instantly makes me feel sick. I turn to the bushes behind me, emptying my stomach there "lady like!" Matty mocks me when I'm done "har har" i say sarcastically and head off towards my building, locking the car. I set off, hearing him behind me. I figure its probably best to ignore him. I'm really not in the mood for his shit tonight. But when I get to the door I'm not quite quick enough. He walks straight in after me, inviting himself in "come in why don't you" i throw him a bit more sarcasm "thanks" he smiles. I'm sure he's purposely trying to just piss me off now.

"not gonna offer me a drink?" he laughs, still stood at the door as i throw myself down on the sofa. I just shake my head. Not even bothering to look at him. He starts to look around the room, picking up books and pictures. He stops when he gets to one "your mum?" he shouts over as he stares at the most recent picture of me and my mum "yep" i say, sighing afterwards. He wolf whistles "she's hot!" he grins "er, thanks.. I think" he laughs again "she only looks young" he's still looking at it "she is" I'm hoping my short replies would throw him off. Give him the hint i don't wanna talk. But he already knows this. Course he does. He annoying me on purpose "she must of been a young mum?" he finally looks at me "seventeen when she fell pregnant. Eighteen when she had me" i shrug. I'm used to people always having a bad opinion about that. That it bothers me now. My mums my hero in my eyes. My inspiration in life. My idol "your dad?" he asks sitting himself down on the chair. I just shrug. I only know he's called John. And that he got my mum pregnant and then left her on her own to deal with everything. With me. He looks at me like he doesn't get it "he left my mum when he got her pregnant. One night stand.. Thing" i tell him. he laughs. I shoot him a warning glare. What the fuck is funny about that "sorry!" he holds his hands up genuinely looking sorry "its just, ironic" he shrugs "you see the pattern?" he asks. I shake my head "oh you mean like mother like daughter?" i say annoyed. He just puts his hands up again not adding anything on "must of been hard for your mum" i know it was. It doesn't take a genius to work that out "yeah. She says so" i shrug "i bet" i don't know why, but next thing i know I'm going into all the stories of my mums struggles bringing up as a child "she even told me she thought about giving me away" i laugh as i tell him. Cause deep down, i don't think she ever would have "the nights when i was a baby, id just scream an my mum wouldn't know what to do. Said she could of just left me to scream some times" he laughs along with me "strong lady by the sounds of it" he praises her "you think you're strong enough to do it?" he asks, all serious now "i dunno" i say honestly "all i can do is try" i say with another shrug "did you ever think when you were younger. You know, when you thought about having kids an stuff, that it's happen an be with someone you loved?" i frown at him. What a stupid question "of course i did" i raise my voice. My moods kicking in again "its not too late" he mumbles. I knew this was coming. That he was coming to this "think about it Ellise. You've just said yourself your mum struggled massively with you. You could stop this now. You've plenty of time for kids. When you're older and with someone" he leans forward, resting his forearms and elbows on his legs. I stare over at him. It does make sense what he's saying. But no. No! "i know you know it makes sense. I don't want kids. I mean, not just with you. At all" he says rushed "see when i got with Gemma it was kind of a win win for me. I don't want kids. She can't have them" i sit just listening to him. Strangely seeming interested in what he has to say "you gotta at least think about this kid. Come on, it'll get called the "love child" he says through air quotes with his fingers. I doubt your mum wants you to go through what she did. A kid deserves a family-" "i did fine!" i cut in, snapping at him becoming all defensive over my upbringing "but can you honestly say you want that for this kid. To have the same. No? You'd want better, wouldn't you?" he asks. I don't even know how. But all of a sudden, its like i have a clock inside my head, that's just started ticking the other way. As though I've had sunglasses on all my life. An I've only just realised and took them off. And now, now things are clearer. Brighter. He's right, isn't he? It wouldn't be fair on this kid "so.." i bite my lip, picking at the fabric om my top "i just, go get rid?" i ask him. Already knowing he's gonna say yes. Already knowing this is what he wants "I'll be right there with you" he smiles"you promise?" i ask all of a sudden feeling more scared about this then the thought of being a mum "I'll get it booked. Payed. An i promise I'll be there with you through it. I'll do it for tomorrow" he nods "tomorrow? Why so soon?" i ask panicked "why wait it out?" okay, i get that "o-okay" i stutter. Following him to the door. "I'll er, I'll drop by later when i can, when gems out an let you know the time and where" he smiles again. Seeming so relaxed and happy. I just nod as he heads off "see you!" he calls out, walking off "see you" i whisper back.