Love Child... //Matty Healy (ON HOLD)

Chapter 65-

I bolted for the door. Everything around me became a blur. Sounds became muffled. My heart beating so fast it felt as though it was going to hammer it's way out of my chest. The pressure in my head built. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

I ran like death was chasing me.  My lungs ached. Starved of oxygen. Left feeling as though I'd ran smack into a concrete wall. 

Sirens from various ambulances blared around me in the distance as I entered the car park of the front entrance to the hospital. 

The cold air coursed through my lungs and dried my already parched throat. I froze on the spot. Turning around frantically, my eyes trying to scan all my surroundings all at once. I circled again. Searching again.

"Where is she?"

The sound of traffic from the busy road, across the parking lot, drowned out any thoughts that were trying to register in my brain.

My heart pounded to the beat of my feet racing over the hard ground across in that direction.

What do I do?

Where do I go?

My legs took me to the side of the hectic road. Something in my head was telling me to cross here. There were no zebra crossings here. No traffic lights to allow me a safe cross.

My legs began to shake, each time I'd attempt to place a foot on the road. Car horns honked and beeped as they passed, a warning to tell me what I was doing was dangerous. This road was hazardous.

I closed my eyes. Desperate for air to reach back to my lungs, needing something to hit in my brain to help me what to do. 

My feet took me off of the path, to the edge of the roadway. A constant rush of wind kept passing by, whipping me across the face from each vehicle that whizzed past at fast speed.

I attempted to keep track on the cars. Trying to count the seconds between each car, to see how long I'd have to pass safely. But it was impossible. 

Why was I even heading this way? There was nothing in this direction to make me think they'd be over here. This wasn't even the right direction towards her place. This road only took you to a roundabout, which either took you out of town or brought you back down in this direction.

The longer I stood here, the more fragile I was left feeling. My whole body ached. My brain shouting at me to just give up. Give in.

I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. Not just now. With my whole life.

What am I doing?

My right leg stretched out to take that first step to cross.... "Ellise, DON'T!"

Panic hit. Not just from him being there. But from realization of what I was about to just do. I yanked my leg back and froze. Too frightened to turn around to him.

I didn't want him here. I didn't want him seeing me so desperate, exposed, confused and pathetic.

Is this what I was going to do? Was a drawn to come over here because my minds playing tricks on me? Knowing how weak and vulnerable I am?

Would I have really stepped into that road.

What is happening to me? What's wrong with me?

"I've got her, Ell. Just stop. She's here!" he begged. His voice rushed, frantic.

It took a few seconds for his words to register.

I stumbled back onto the pavement. Turning to the sight of her wrapped in a hospital blanket, safe and guarded in both his arms.