“I’m going inside.” Liz grumbled.
“Where they evenly shaped?” Michael called after her, “Are they bigger then when she put them on tumbler when she was eight?”
“She was like thirteen.” Luke snapped.
“Why are you getting defensive?” Michael laughed.
“Can we drop it?” Calum chuckled.
“Can we return to the issue at hand?” I sighed.
“The fact that Kourt is preggo again and she’s struggling with maintaining a healthy relationship and balancing the everyday tasks of being a mother already?”
“Right?” Calum gasped, “I think she’s depressed.”
“No, no, she’s a Kardashian.” Michael sighed, “They don’t know what emotion is.”
“Kim does.” Calum sniggered.
“I love that picture!” Luke squealed, “I saw a girl at our last meet and great and she had it on a phone ca….”
“Guys!” I cried, “The whole babysitter situation!”
“Oh yeah, that.” Calum sighed.
“Yeah, that.” I snapped.
“Go say sorry and give her an autographed pair of underwear.” Michael sighed.
“I’m being serious.” I cried.
“So am I.” he replied, “I forgot to wish my cousin happy birthday so I sent her a pair of Luke’s boxers and she was fine.”
“Awwww,” Luke said, “Wait, which ones?!”
“The Mr. Happy ones.”
“No!” Luke cried, “Those came with matching socks!”
“You still have those!” Calum laughed, “I’m wearing Mr. Cool!”
“I pitched my Mr. Grumpy ones.” Michael muttered, shoving the rest of his pizza in his mouth.
“No!” Luke cried, startling the baby on his lap so much, she dropped his sunglasses on the ground, “Why?”
“They had skids.” Michael replied with a shrug.
“That is so nasty.” Calum muttered, dropping his half finished piece of pizza on his plate.
“Oh you can stop!” Michael cried, “You walk around with jizz hands, touching door handles and shit all the time.”
Repulsed, I set my pizza down on my plate and pushed it away from me.
“Guys, stop that’s gross.” Luke muttered.
“At least I don’t scrunch my toilet paper like an animal!” Michael spat.
“Who folds it!” Luke snapped, “Like you’re wiping your ass not wiping the queen’s mouth!”
“Um, I don’t know about you but I don’t want shit on my fingers.” Michael spat.
“I don’t get shit on my fingers!” Luke cried.
“Guys, this conversation has turned so far south, we’ve reached Antarctica.” Calum muttered, “Just stop.”
“Says the guy who leaves piss on the seat!” Michael snapped.
“Yeah!” Luke cried, “If you tinkle while the sprinklers going be a sweetheart and wi….”
“No you dumb ass!” Michael sighed, “It’s if your sprinkle when you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!”
“I don’t pee on the seat!” Calum cried, “It’s probably Luke’s shower water!”
Part Ninety-Six
Start from the beginning
