poems from a lonely girl

how do i find myself again

i'm slipping down, a deep dark endless pit

i've lost myself, try to numb myself from it

in my desperation, i use whatever i can find

use exercise to leave the scary thoughts behind

starving until I feel the world spin when I stand

my tired body no longer does what I command

stuffing myself until my emotions explode from my mouth

in a colourful pungent mixture of junk food and bile

19 hours of screen time I don't know what I'm after

drowning myself in blurry pixels and artificial laughter

doom scrolling, they call it
doomed is indeed how i feel

no way to stop and no way up, no hope that I can heal

how do I get out of this vicious cycle?

i can't remember when it started

the one way that this will end

will leave me broken hearted