sequel to "i'm fine"
~
"but guessing by the way you're acting you'd prefer a break right?"
"fine, i'll break the fuck up with you then. don't come to me until you're ready to fucking believe me, okay!?"
he was ready to suffer alone so his boyfriend...
had to fix something again i'm sORRY I UNPUBLISHED I WASN'T EVEN MEANT TO
The text Yoongi had received from Jungkook an incredibly lonely week after broke his already butchered heart. This time, their company was to blame more than the members themselves. Jungkook had told him that they were all headed to Daejeon for their other performances and that he would have to go there on his own when he was discharged from the hospital which happened to be today.
Yoongi didn't blame the company; of course they couldn't lag behind because of Yoongi.
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방탄소년단 @bts_twt
armyyyy! i'm getting better, thanks for your support! i'm sorry i couldn't be there with you tonight :( i love you!
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ykshinim: aww! my baby is getting better! i got so worried!
thkmjin: wait whAt!? what happened to him, i missed everything!
jams4lifeujimin: @thkmmjin he fainted on stage last week
thkmjin: oh! my poor baby, he works himself too much :(
screwbtsew: lmao this is why bts sucks
hpewrldx: @screwbtsew a lot of idols faint on stage you piece of shit
jjkssi: omg he still looks so tired and so much thinner :(((
Yoongi was on the train, on his own, with his own thoughts to battle against. He was sure it wasn't even safe for him to be travelling on his own especially after him being everywhere on the fucking news. Whatever, he didn't care at this point if he got assaulted and attacked or not. Just fuck it.
A message from Jin woke up him from his little nap, and he groaned as soon as he read it.
jin hyung: baby, have you been discharged yet?
yoongi: i'm on the fucking train. where are you guys staying?
jin hyung: we didn't even want to leave you there, baby
jin hyung: manager said we should carry on with the tour. oh and also, he said he wants to talk to you about jungkook a
nd yourself.
Anxiety ran through Yoongi's veins as soon as he read that. That couldn't have been anything good. This life was just getting worse and worse and Yoongi was starting to want to end it. But he couldn't be that weak; he couldn't! He didn't want this; it had to get better but it just wouldn't!
Yoongi couldn't tell Jungkook about this and scare him; he was still a kid and he had been through so much. He didn't want to tell Jin but he really didn't see himself not slitting his wrists open and bleeding out if he didn't seek help fast.
No, therapy was never going to be an option for Yoongi. Not after he had already been forced to go to it in his childhood years while his father purposely kept fucking his mind over and over and brainwashing him with the fact that therapy was supposed to be helping. If he wasn't on his own right now, everyone on the train would be looking at him as if he was fucking insane, which wasn't the biggest lie to think.
If he needed anything right now, it was the warmth of his members' embrace. Their wonderful, angelic voices shushing him when he would cry and tell him it was all going to be okay and that they were there for him. That they'd never ever leave him; not if he wanted them to. they were like a family right? He hadn't just been making all of that shit in his head all these years had he? It had all been fucking true right!? Was he really just insane for all these years?
What the fuck was happening to the Yoongi that was once loved by his members and adored by them like he was their fucking brother? Why did this happen to him? He didn't want to think he deserved this.
Yoongi deserved much, much better than this shit.
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guysss! y'all don't need to worry about my health - i'm used to surviving on two hours of sleep and little food and cans of energy drinks and- oof basically i'm fine...ha..hahah.. :)
