The Cabin in the Woods (Jonathan Toews)

Could Have Had It All

Jonathan

"It's gameday" Allison cheers as she walks out of the kitchen. She had on one of my Bears jerseys and leggings as she skipped into the living room. She hands me a cup of coffee before sitting down next to me with hers. I wrap my arm around her and pick up my cup with my free hand before taking a drink.

"Do you really think they're going to be able to beat Baltimore and that crazy defense" I question and she gasps.

"No matter how awful the Bears might be you do not question them. You follow them blindly into the deep dark abyss of disappointment and eventual acceptance of mediocracy" she claims and I laugh. She sure did love her sports teams.

"Wow... I hope you don't talk about my team like that" I admit.

"The Blackhawks are the pride and joy of Chicago sports, I couldn't talk bad about them if I wanted to" she insists.

"We haven't been that good recently" I sigh.

"What do you mean" she questions. I forgot that she wasn't allowed to follow the Hawks while she was put away.

"We've been knocked out of the playoffs in the first round of the playoffs the last two years. And I really thought we could do something special with this crazy talented team this season... but now it's not looking like we will" I explain.

"Mathew never did let me watch sports. He said it wasn't lady like and it was a waste of time sitting there watching tv, it was time I could have been cleaning something or making him happy" she explains as I ball up my fist.

"He's a ass hole" I snarl and she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Calm down there tiger, I don't need you punching a wall and breaking your hand so I have all the rich snobs and Blackhawks fans back in Chicago at my throat" she claims and I relax.

"You're right. I just... I really hate that guy. And you're video is already doing what we wanted it to. There's a lot of people who support you and want to see you do good" I insist.

"That's awesome, but I still don't know what I'm doing with my life" she admits.

"You could be anything you want to be in this whole world" I insist. And I truly believed that. 

"All I ever wanted was to be yours" she says and I stop. I look into her deep blue eyes and I feel my heart beating faster as what she just said set in.

"How come you didn't break up with him before? We could have had it all by now" I say.

"I know we could have, we should have. But I had my mom in one ear telling me that if I truly loved her I would be with him. She gave up a lot for me and the least I could do was give this man my time so he could give her some money. And I had him in my other ear claiming that he loved me and that he could make me happy. I was so naive, I was just 19 years old when I met him. I was so young, I was so stupid. I had that horrid waitressing job and he told me I wouldn't have to work there anymore if I loved him. But he didn't tell me that I had to be his slave instead. He didn't tell me that the best years of my life would soon be pissed away inside a house I could never call a home. By the time I met you I had been with him for about a year and had been eating all the crap he was feeding me. I seriously thought that he was someone he wasn't" she explains.

"But you loved me anyway" I remind her.

"I did. I loved you like I always dreamed the perfect love would be like. I remember that I would call you just to hear your voice. I remember making up silly excuses to see you just so I can look into your eyes and see them sparkle. I remember telling myself that I was crazy for being with one man and falling in love with another. But I was just a fan for a while, then we were just friends. We would always have to hang out with other people around because we didn't trust ourselves. And yet we always ended up separating ourselves from everyone else because that's just how we were meant to be, you know, together.

But then I was pressured to move in with him. My mom told me that a man like that doesn't wait around for me to come to my senses and that if I messed that up with him I would never be happy. All I wanted was to be happy. So I moved in with him, one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. That's when I saw him for who he was. That's when he started to change, shape-shifted into this terrible creature that feeds off of putting people down to make himself seem larger.

And that's when I realized that I chose the wrong guy. Because he was supposed to love me and he didn't, and you weren't supposed to love me but you did. I could tell from the way that you looked at me that you wanted me. And I wanted you too, I wanted you in the worst ways. But I did what I was told to do and not what I was supposed to do and in the end everyone ended up getting hurt" she sighs.

"I'm not hurting anymore. And I hope you're not as much anymore either" I insist.

"No baby, I can't hurt when I'm next to you" she assures me.

"I'm happy with how things ended up. Even though it sucks not having hockey, at least I have football with you" I smile.

"Ohh that reminds me, I made some snacks for the game" she claims.

"Of course you did" I smile. "What do you got?"

"I made mini weenies and meatballs and a cheese balls and chips and dip and I have no idea how we're going to eat all of this ourselves" she says in one breath.

"I can see if Dayna and Brent want to come over" I say and she lights up.

"Okay! That would be fun" she cheers.

I call them up and they easily agree to come over. Brent was a pretty big Bears fan and Dayna loved Allison so it was a good situation all around. They come over within a hour with some soda and we all sit down to watch the game.

I watch as Allison throws her yellow flag she made herself when there was a misssed call and I just had to smile. A part of the reason she was so popular with the guys is because a lot of the time, she was one of us. She liked to play video games and drink beer and watch whatever game was on the tv. And I would never ask her to change because this is what makes her so unique, so one of a kind. There isn't another girl out there like her and that's why she's the only one for me.