Fighting Fire With Ice (COMPLETE)

Chapter 50: The End

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Same night.
It's never easy to walk away from a toxic relationship, especially when you've invested so much into it. Your emotions, your time, your energy, your worth, your body and your soul. While this might look exaggerated, it's exactly what Zainab invested in Abdulzahir. Why wouldn't she, he was afterall her husband.

Her decision to leave could not have come at a worse time, he had no one else to take care of him in his present state. She walked into the lobby of the hospital just as Teemah was heading out, Teemah saw her first so she changed directions before Zainab could see her.

When she got into the room Abdulzahir was weeping, no sound just flowing tears. She sat down watching him, she could think of a billion reasons why he should cry, but it was new to her, to see him so weak.

"Zainab" he whispered in his quiet voice, She was exhausted, at her present state she could not muster emotion of any kind. Not love, not pity, not anger, nothing. She moved closer so she could listen to what he wanted to tell her. "Na sake ki" he whispered, inaudibly, but she heard him. Her heart skipped a beat, could she have heard him right?! "I'm sorry for everything. I.. love you" he added very slowly.

She moved back, tears came rushing, and stopped on her eyes. She knew what she heard, but what does it mean. She reached for his hand but stopped half ways, the tears flowed down in full force.

Zainab was not the same girl she was when she married Abdulzahir, through the years she had grown stronger. She fought off the emotion, she fought off the need to be with him, without a word back she left him.

Abdulzahir knew what he had just done, maybe it was the sedatives, maybe it was aches all over his body, or maybe he was mentally unstable. Or perhaps he finally got to loved her enough to let her go. He wasn't sure of any of those things, but what he knew for sure was that he had to let her go.

Letting Zainab go was as painful as watching Teemah in the hospital knowing that he put her there. None of which were as painful as the betrayal he felt from his father's actions and Teemah's.

He might die from his wounds and fractures, he might die from his regrets and pain. Abdulzahir welcomed the idea of dying, he didn't think he had anything to live for anymore. If he did live, he made enemies of two of people who were very dear to his heart.

"Blood for blood" she said, but would he ever be able to draw blood from her again? That hospital bed was either his doom or his salvation, either way he couldn't not avoid the chaos to come.

***
Zainab went straight to Tee's place, she knew no one who would rejoice to the news, she thought perhaps Tahira could remind her that it was a good thing. That might have been why she went there or maybe she just needed someone who would understand what she was going through at that moment.

She didn't go into the house, it was around 10pm, she wanted to avoid answering questions from mommy. She waited for Tee in the car within their premises. The day she met him crossed her mind, what was it about him that got her wrapped in his grip??? It was something in the way he looks at her, dark has never been that handsome. It was something in how confident and smart he was, she couldn't stop crying, most people would say he had lost a good wife, but what about her??? What did she lose? She lost something too. Her heart. Tee met her in the car that drove her.

"I'm so sorry Zainab, I know you love him" Tahira said after Zainab informed her of the divorce.
Zainab wiped away a her tears again, which didn't keep them from running. "I thought i was done, i thought i wanted this.. What do i do now?" She asked, Tahira didn't have an answer for her, she shook her head apologetically "Does it get better? One day I'll stop right?" Zainab asked hoping.

Tahira shook her head, unable to lie to her friend "loving him? Maybe, I don't know. But you will heal Zainab and that is the most important thing"

"How did you do it? Block your feelings?"

"I didn't, I couldn't"
Zainab let out a deep sigh "I don't know what it is, it's just the way he walks, talks, holds me...it wasn't all bad you know" she blew her nose with a tissue.

"I know baby, just focus on Abdallah"

Zainab sobbed and collapsed into her best friend's arms "I'm not strong enough, i love him so much Tee, it hurts."

"I know, it'll get better, i promise" Tahira replied.
Zainab was happy Tahira did not tell her to be happy, or try to make her see that it was a good thing, even though it was what she hopped for, assurance that her it was a good thing. She got what she needed most, a shoulder to cry on.

"Listen, I'll come tomorrow, go home Zainab, rest and take care of my baby."

"Baba will kill me for this"
"You've survived worse" Tee said sympathetically.

***
Zainab got home, a home she had become comfortable calling her own, a home she could no longer call her own. She sat on the couch hoping things could have gone better for her and Abdulzahir, but alas this was where she found herself. She drafted a text message addressed to Benazir and her mother.

"Assalamu'alaykum. Ina fatan sakona ya same ku lafiya? Abdulzahir ya furta min kalman saki, adalilin haka ne, na bar shi asibiti ba mai lura da shi. Allah ya kara masa lafiya. Na gode da irin kyautawar da kuka min, Allah ya bar zumunci."

Immediately afterwards she sent the message and switched off her phone. She needed the peace and quiet, she needed the time to recover from all the emotional tremors.

She didn't bother to look for her baby, she knew for sure the child would be in better condition than she was at that moment.

She picked up her diary and made one final entry as a wife.

Dear Diary,
Even after everything, I love him. May Allah SWT see me through this.