Dear Ryan ➳ Randy [✓]

3.0

Major Trigger Warning guys. Please do not read if you are sensitive to these sort of things ❤️

"Andy. We're going to watch-Have you been crying?" Jack questioned, frowning as the blonde boy brushed past him. His eye's were red and puffy and he had his journel tucked underneath his arm securely.

Andy turned and looked and Jack, but he couldn't meet his eyes, and forced a smile on his face.
"I'm fine Jack" He said, in an almost monotonous voice. Jack's frown deepened, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion and doubt.

"Are you sure. Cause you really look like you've been crying" Jack asked, taking a step closer to Andy.
"I said I'm fine" He replied, stepping away "It's allergies. Just allergies. I'm going to have a shower to see if it helps"

Jack sighed and bit his lip. He couldn't help but feel like Andy was lying to him. But he brushed it off as just that. A feeling. Giving Andy a half hearted smile, he nodded and left the older boy alone.

Andy let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head as he entered the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He placed his journel on the toilet lid, taking his jumper and discarding to the side as he slid down the wall.

He stared at his forearm and ran his fingers over his already existing scars. He wanted this. He needed this. The other boys would be fine without him. Infact, he knew they would be better off without him. He could hear them laughing. They didn't need him.

He was insignificant.

He pulled he razor out of his pocket and raised the metal blade against his arm, pressing it into his skin. He dragged it along, leaving a trail of blood behind. Smiling, he let out a shakey breath. This was it.

Again and again he repeated this process; the cuts getting longer and deeper, tears blinding his vison. Pain. All he could feel was the pain. And he hated it. He hated every second of it. But the voice urged him on. Urged him to go deeper. To finish the job. Convincing him that this is what he wanted.

But he wasn't sure now. His arms were burning and he knew he was losing a lot of blood. He was getting dizzy and he wasn't sure if the pain was worth it. He wasn't sure he wanted to die anymore.

He wanted Rye. He needed Rye. Rye always helped. He always made the voices go away. Before he could stop himself. He screamed. He screamed Rye's name as his body racked with sobs. Because this wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to die. Not like this.

Hearing Andy, Rye jumped from the sofa, dashing towards the bathroom. His heart felt as if it was going  to beat out of his chest.
"Andy. Unlock the door" Rye spoke calmly. Getting no reponse, he started pounding on the door.
"Andy. Open the fucking door or i swear to fucking god I will knock it down"

Still nothing, but he could still hear Andy sobbing on the otherside. He took a few steps back and launched his full body weight at the door, denting the panels. He tried again, this time breaking the panel just enough for him to stick his hand up and unlock it.

He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes met the tear filled ones of his best friend. Hi eyes flicked from Andy to his forearm and back again. And for a moment, he forgot how to breathe.
"Rye. Ryan. Please do something. Make it stop" Andy whimpered, breaking Rye out of his trance. He grabbed Andy's jumper and moved towards him, crouching down. He gently wrapped the fabric around his arm, applying pressure in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Mikey. Call an ambulance" Rye said, trying not to let his voice shake. Mikey noddes his head, running to grab his phone. Jack had gently pulled a hypervenitaliting Brooklyn away to try and calm him down.

"Rye...Rye. I don't want to die. Please...please don't let me die" Andy was lightheaded. He was so dizzy. He felt as if he was going to pass out. The screaming combined with the blood loss had taken so much out of him. He was tired

Rye ran his hair through Andy's hair, pulling the smaller boy closer to him, tears streaming down his face.
"It's ok. I'm here now," He choked "I'm here. I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot I didn't see how much you were struggling. I'm here now. I won't let you die. The ambulance is on it's way. You'll be ok"

"Diary," He muttered, motioning to his book "My diary. Want you to read it"
"I will. Ok. I will. Just stay awake for me. I need you to stay awake" He replied, gently tapping the side of Andy's face as he noticed the blonde's eyes beginning to droop.

"M' tired though Rye. So tired" Andy said, feeling his eyes get heavier.
"I know love. I know. But you can't sleep. Not yet. Please.." Rye begged. Andy let a small sigh as he slumped against Rye, his eyes falling shut.
"No. Andy. Please," Rye whispered, placing a small kiss on Andy's head. "Please don't leave me..."

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and thats it. end of story.

bye

oi why are you still here. i said thats it. go away now.

ugh fine you got me. theres an epilogue to go. and maybe a second book ;)

-Lauren

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