Dear Ryan ➳ Randy [✓]

1.8

18/12/17

Dear Ryan

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've felt so...so done. With life. I don't want to live anymore.

They say the feeling is temporary, but for me, i've felt this for so fucking long I just don't want to feel anymore.

I sat, on the bathroom floor today. Genuinely, I qas sat with several different pills out. I lined them up, ordered them in size order. I had water.

I could have done it.
I would have done it

If it wasn't for you. If it wasn't for you sticking your goddamn nose in my buissness. If it was for you checking on me. I would have taken those pills. I would have killed myself.

because thats all i want. I want to die.

I know. I'm selfish. I know, death is permanent. But i don't care

I just don't care anymore.

Love
Andy

.-.-.-./-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Wow
This was...hard to write. Mostly bc I've actually put how I feel right now. bc i genuinely do. And i genuinely have nearly done it. But i haven't
Why...?
I don't know anymore.
I made a promise.
I made a promise not to self harm anymore. But she didn't say anything about dying.

-Lauren ♡